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sugarnspicee's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
sugarnspicee's favorite FMLs
by sad / 10/25/2011 at 6:15am / Reserved / Intimacy
Today, my kitchen is flooded, and according to my landlord, this is normal, because it rained last night. Funny, I thought the purpose of a roof was to stop water from getting in. Guess I was wrong. Silly me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 7:22am / France / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 06/08/2011 at 2:55am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/06/2011 at 7:20pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I signed up for an online dating site. In order to prove I was human and complete my registration, I had to pass a CAPTCHA. Coincidentally enough, the words in it were "depressed" and "loser". FML
by Jakub89 / 06/05/2011 at 4:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/01/2011 at 2:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by trev / 05/30/2011 at 12:12pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health
Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML
by Anonymous / 05/29/2011 at 10:04am / United States / Intimacy
by epicfail / 05/28/2011 at 2:45am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/24/2011 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by nr1234 / 05/24/2011 at 12:27am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my husband and I had just got over a big argument, and I asked him to cut me some cucumbers for my eyes to help me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, and he set them on my eyes. They weren't cucumbers, they were lemons. FML
Today, my pants felt a little looser than usual. Thinking I'd lost weight, I proudly went about my day. It wasn't until much later that I realised I hadn't lost any weight at all; my fly was down. FML
by woodchuck0022 / 05/21/2011 at 5:16pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, at my hairdressing job, my first client of the day came in for a cut. Her hair smelled awful, and when I asked her why, she informed me that she'd gotten trashed with some friends the night before, and one of them had puked in her hair. She came to me to get it cleaned out. FML
by ewwgross / 05/20/2011 at 7:29pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…