suckmyclock

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suckmyclock

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 498
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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suckmyclock's page activity

Visits<b>jpest17</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 10:25am<b>satelliteantenna</b> - the 08/19/2013 at 12:18am<b>Joshido</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 3:23pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 7:09am<b>blooddeal</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 1:47am<b>Thograth</b> - the 03/22/2013 at 1:32pm

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suckmyclock's favorite FMLs

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got talking to a pretty girl on the subway. Just as she was about to get off, I handed her my phone so that she could give me her number. She ran out with it. FML

by crétin-crédule / 02/26/2013 at 12:02am / France (Limousin) / Love

Today, my hairdresser apologised because he couldn't distinguish the hair from the back of my head from the hair from my back. FML

by Edgarillo / 02/14/2013 at 2:59am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Miscellaneous

Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML

by dormeur / 01/18/2013 at 6:39am / Animals

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

by me / 02/19/2012 at 6:37am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, it was the hottest day of the year so I opened my sun roof. The hottest day of the year was followed by the biggest storm of the year. I forgot to close my sun roof and my car is now flooded. FML

by Username / 05/28/2010 at 2:20am / Transportation

Today, I found out why my husband had wanted to wait until marriage to get it on. Last night was the first night of our honeymoon, and he informed me that he wasn't always Ben, but used to be Brenda. His 'penis' doesn't work and he had wanted to know I "truly loved him" before he had let me know. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2009 at 1:21pm / United States (Arizona) / Holidays

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

by Noname / 02/20/2009 at 12:30am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction. He said, "I love Los Angeles too!" FML

by mocass’1 / 10/13/2008 at 4:19am / France / Love