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strokesie's favorite FMLs
by madseason / 05/06/2012 at 8:13pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work
by amazed / 04/18/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 5:43am / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried to convince my daughter that the "To boldly go where no man has gone before" speech is from Star Trek, and is not an actual historical speech by the first man on the moon. She has decided to include it in her university essay on Neil Armstrong anyway. FML
by Ameel / 04/12/2012 at 2:49pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by spougeineye1 / 04/03/2012 at 12:37pm / United States (Washington) / Health
by neverthesame / 03/28/2012 at 10:53pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that an inspired gardening spree is not as fulfilling as some would have us believe. One punctured hand, cactussed foot and bruised ankle later, I'm beginning to regret waking up this morning and thinking, "What the hell, I'll nuke the shit out of some weeds." FML
by Baustigt / 03/28/2012 at 7:19am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by Mandy / 03/26/2012 at 6:21pm / United States / Health
Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML
by Anonymous / 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by J Rush / 03/21/2012 at 7:46am / United Kingdom (Powys) / Health
by CA19oo / 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by Evelyn / 03/19/2012 at 4:18pm / United States / Kids
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 02/18/2012 at 5:07pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…