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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 May 1941 (75 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16373
  • Number of comments : 400
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About stevenJB : 9/28/2016
Hey, you're my latest stalker. feel free to message me here or on kik "Lockolaine". otherwise here's the run down of me.

-I (used to) play guitar and bass, will start in again soon.
-enlisting in the Marines(leave for BC in feb)
-5´11 or 510 depending on who measures me
-gamer, mostly Wow, WoT, overwatch, starcraft 2 and fallout lately.
-listens to rock, metal mostly, a little bit of country, punk, some pop I just hear on the radio, symphony and some jazz as well.
-native American and used to have hair over a meter long.
-enjoy watching movies/anime
-can sing, but not amazingly
-heavy machinery operator/mechanic
-lives in South Dakota
-love dogs, though I don't have one myself :(
-enjoys firearms and long range shooting
-Love reading books, more into fantasy genre.
-I'll do a fuck for a fuck so feel free.
-my fml profile is around or close to 5 years old.
-enjoy running and working out.

--if you got any questions feel free to ask--

stevenJB's page activity

Visits<b>Oliveisthenewora</b> - 17 hours ago<b>lunalane</b> - yesterday at 6:14pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - yesterday at 9:58am<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 10/26/2016 at 2:07am<b>Marissa20358</b> - the 10/25/2016 at 12:16pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 9:42pm<b>ItWentSwimmingly</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 9:21pm<b>CamBen</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 4:43pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 12:00pm<b>bellles</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 11:21am<b>mrlucky22</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 9:15am<b>HelloKiittyy</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 1:47am<b>killmenowugh</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 11:20pm<b>BryantStone</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 10:40pm<b>jessebelle0714</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 9:34pm<b>CaitOlivia94</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 10:17pm<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 7:49pm<b>a_sales</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 2:46pm

Fucked!<b>URBeingLied2</b> - yesterday at 7:04am<b>Marissa20358</b> - the 10/25/2016 at 6:18pm<b>CamBen</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 11:58pm<b>Cow_Girl_Lilly</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 1:24pm<b>lunalane</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 5:09am<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 3:58am<b>r1has</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 10:57am<b>TwistedWires</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 7:04am<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 3:26am<b>BlueAlpaca</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 3:02am<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 4:19pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 2:05am<b>DBpiano</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 11:44pm<b>mercedesm</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 9:15pm<b>honeyleee</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 5:47pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 10:47am<b>BrazyNut</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 10:22am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 7:30am

stevenJB's FML badges


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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of stevenJB's badges

stevenJB's favorite FMLs

Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML

by skid kid / 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was locked out of my house and had to pee. I waited an hour for my boyfriend to come home. When I saw him pull into the driveway, I peed myself in excitement. FML

by shelly / 03/08/2012 at 5:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML

by littlekellilee / 03/08/2012 at 11:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

by thatchick3333 / 03/08/2012 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had six long hours with the same math teacher. To get home, I travel by bus. Guess who sat down next to me for the whole trip. FML

by laviestpasimal / 03/06/2012 at 7:14pm / France / Work

Today, I got up at 4:30 am, went to my job as the newspaper guy. Nobody was there to open the door, it was raining and I was freezing. I decided to wait, because I really wanted my salary. At 6 o'clock my boss opens the door and says, "Oh, it's you. Well, you're fired. We can't pay you anymore." FML

by Shan007tjuuh / 03/06/2012 at 3:57am / Netherlands / Work

Today, I came home to an eviction notice after an apartment inspection. The reason? Having an unauthorized pet that could cause unnecessary damage to my suite. My pet is a goldfish. FML

by goldfish / 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health

Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2012 at 11:36am / United Kingdom (Gateshead) / Work

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML

by bannana0zoom / 03/03/2012 at 3:06am / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

by wtf dad / 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous