Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

stevenJB

Offline (the 02/16/2015 at 4:30am) | Search for a member

stevenJB

3Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9751
  • Number of comments : 396
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About stevenJB : Yay you're my latest stalker! :D well, just to start off...I'm a rocker and metalhead so I listen to alot of punk,metal, rock. All that good stuff. I'm native American and have long black hair that is a few inches over a meter long (longer than my arm if I hold it out). I play electric guitar,bass guitar and sing some too. If you wanna know anything or know anything just send me a message. Because I have alot of free time >.> and feel free to kik me: "lockolaine"
"The only thing you should feel when you shoot somebody, is the recoil"
UPDATE 12/20/14
Cut my hair off, will update profile info later.

stevenJB's page activity

Visits<b>PapaMoti</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 10:44am<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 7:33am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 1:08am<b>Kay9889</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 2:51am<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 2:41pm<b>_powerslave666</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 5:22pm<b>xEliteVenom</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 11:30pm<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 1:46am<b>CAC_Boomerang</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 10:38am<b>pinkgreenyellow</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 12:37am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 1:07pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:00pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 2:02am<b>goosieloosie23</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 2:35am<b>silentseries</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 2:01am<b>flopstar</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 10:03pm<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:25pm<b>HPCullen251</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 4:04pm

Liked!<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 12:31pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 8:02am<b>sneakattacked</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 6:09am

stevenJB's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of stevenJB's badges

stevenJB's favorite FMLs

Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML

#19451298
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25182) - you deserved it (4224)

On 04/11/2012 at 7:05pm - health - by clinictime - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother made me see the doctor to see if I had irritable bowel syndrome, on the account of how often I go to the restroom. I then had to admit I only go in there to get away from my family. My doctor thought it was hilarious. My mom didn't. FML

#19440053
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25274) - you deserved it (2913)

On 04/09/2012 at 10:51pm - health - by emoflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my 30th birthday. I was having a great night until I overheard my mother say, "I can't believe that thing made it to 30." FML

Today, during an Easter egg hunt, I found divorce papers. FML

#19428226
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34702) - you deserved it (2371)

On 04/08/2012 at 5:16am - love - by claudio117 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my patient had her call bell on. When I went to see what she needed, she replied that she was very itchy and could not reach to scratch the itch. I basically got called in to scratch my patient's crotch. FML

#19415832
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21112) - you deserved it (2155)

On 04/06/2012 at 2:15am - work - by akasha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

#19412474
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8807) - you deserved it (25555)

On 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by darkestbarbie - United States (Georgia)

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

#19411033
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21886) - you deserved it (12316)

On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

#19387601
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16815) - you deserved it (30207)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:03am - love - by Jeff make - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML

#19387058
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22554) - you deserved it (4387)

On 04/01/2012 at 6:08am - love - by BigBangCheater (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

#19369663
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20625) - you deserved it (1752)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by yelyah - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML

#19361300
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30290) - you deserved it (8350)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:16am - misc - by ouchouchouch - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, things started to heat up in the bedroom. Not in a sexual way, though; the lamp caught fire. FML

#19349740
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26816) - you deserved it (2755)

On 03/26/2012 at 5:11am - intimacy - by pmek - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother told me it's okay to be a prostitute, as long as I make sure the clients pay a lot. FML

#19348653
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28313) - you deserved it (3877)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Teenagegirl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was vomiting after an evening of drinking. My boyfriend was kind enough to hold my hair back while I spewed chunks into the toilet. Apparently he got bored though, because his hands made their way down to my boobs, which he started jiggling while singing Jingle Bells. FML

#19345098
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14493) - you deserved it (25358)

On 03/25/2012 at 2:04pm - health - by analeis (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I started a new blog that I've been planning for weeks. So far, the only comments I've received are a dozen spam links, two people correcting my grammar, and a lady telling me I'm going to burn in hell for calling the Pope a noob. FML



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: