About stevenJB : 6/26/16
Don't feel too excited about writing another updated bio, just shoot me a message on KIK username is "lockolaine"
About stevenJB : 6/26/16
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stevenJB's favorite FMLs
Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by cortanaisahobot / 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals
by gonavybeatarmy / 05/31/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Lonely_Army / 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm / Qatar / Miscellaneous
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I was messing around in computer class, when somebody called my name from the hall. Trying to be smooth, I tried rolling my chair backwards out into the hall. The wheels wasted no time jamming and sending me crashing face-first into the floor in front of everyone. FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 2:05pm / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous
Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML
by ordinaryday / 05/22/2012 at 8:21am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML
by Anonymous / 05/20/2012 at 3:43pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML
by cheesfactor / 05/19/2012 at 3:50pm / Bulgaria (Ruse) / Miscellaneous
by maggierose171 / 05/19/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
by msassy / 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by Great. / 05/18/2012 at 11:05am / United States (Montana) / Love
by Vero / 05/17/2012 at 11:02am / Austria (Oberosterreich) / Love