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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 May 1941 (75 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16315
  • Number of comments : 399
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About stevenJB : 9/28/2016
Hey, you're my latest stalker. feel free to message me here or on kik "Lockolaine". otherwise here's the run down of me.

-I (used to) play guitar and bass, will start in again soon.
-enlisting in the Marines(leave for BC in feb)
-5´11 or 510 depending on who measures me
-gamer, mostly Wow, WoT, overwatch, starcraft 2 and fallout lately.
-listens to rock, metal mostly, a little bit of country, punk, some pop I just hear on the radio, symphony and some jazz as well.
-native American and used to have hair over a meter long.
-enjoy watching movies/anime
-can sing, but not amazingly
-heavy machinery operator/mechanic
-lives in South Dakota
-love dogs, though I don't have one myself :(
-enjoys firearms and long range shooting
-Love reading books, more into fantasy genre.
-I'll do a fuck for a fuck so feel free.
-my fml profile is around or close to 5 years old.
-enjoy running and working out.

--if you got any questions feel free to ask--

stevenJB's page activity

Visits<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - 15 minutes ago<b>ItWentSwimmingly</b> - 35 minutes ago<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 4:59pm<b>CamBen</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 4:43pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 12:00pm<b>bellles</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 11:21am<b>mrlucky22</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 9:15am<b>HelloKiittyy</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 1:47am<b>killmenowugh</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 11:20pm<b>BryantStone</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 10:40pm<b>jessebelle0714</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 9:34pm<b>CaitOlivia94</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 10:17pm<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 7:49pm<b>a_sales</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 2:46pm<b>Earths_Venus</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 6:38am<b>sarahyep</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 4:07am<b>mof424</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 11:56pm<b>tmj25789</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 8:24pm

Fucked!<b>CamBen</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 11:58pm<b>Cow_Girl_Lilly</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 1:24pm<b>lunalane</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 5:09am<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 3:58am<b>r1has</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 10:57am<b>TwistedWires</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 7:04am<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 3:26am<b>BlueAlpaca</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 3:02am<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 4:19pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 2:05am<b>DBpiano</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 11:44pm<b>mercedesm</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 9:15pm<b>honeyleee</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 5:47pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 10:47am<b>BrazyNut</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 10:22am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 7:30am<b>stellasue11</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 6:32am<b>PopTarts513</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 6:55pm

stevenJB's FML badges


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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of stevenJB's badges

stevenJB's favorite FMLs

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

by cortanaisahobot / 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML

by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML

by BloodFaerie / 06/30/2012 at 2:49am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

by gonavybeatarmy / 05/31/2012 at 1:28am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised that I've been deployed for far too long, when I caught myself looking down the cleavage of a mannequin wearing a bathing suit. FML

by Lonely_Army / 05/25/2012 at 12:03pm / Qatar / Miscellaneous

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I was messing around in computer class, when somebody called my name from the hall. Trying to be smooth, I tried rolling my chair backwards out into the hall. The wheels wasted no time jamming and sending me crashing face-first into the floor in front of everyone. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2012 at 2:05pm / Puerto Rico / Miscellaneous

Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML

by ordinaryday / 05/22/2012 at 8:21am / Canada (Alberta) / Love

Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML

by Anonymous / 05/20/2012 at 3:43pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wardrobe door jammed, and I couldn't change out into some nice clothes for my date. On the way there, my car broke down. Not wanting to be late and make a bad impression, I scuttled the rest of the way, only to find I'd been stood up. FML

by cheesfactor / 05/19/2012 at 3:50pm / Bulgaria (Ruse) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter's bed broke. Trying to see the damage, I lay down on her floor to get a closer look. I saw mountains of condom boxes under there. Now I know why the bed broke. FML

by maggierose171 / 05/19/2012 at 11:08am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, the "My body is beautiful" t-shirt that my therapist gave me didn't fit. FML

by msassy / 05/18/2012 at 10:46pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

by Great. / 05/18/2012 at 11:05am / United States (Montana) / Love

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, my boyfriend threw little stones against my window. Unfortunately, the window wasn't closed, and I was standing in front of it. FML

by Vero / 05/17/2012 at 11:02am / Austria (Oberosterreich) / Love