About staymintyfresh : I love my friends, and partying. Life's nice :)
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staymintyfresh's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Intimacy
Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 11:41am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, after years of lobbying for a travel job, I'm finally in Africa. Everything I eat or drink comes violently back out both directions. When I don't eat or drink, I pass out. Essentially I have to choose between illness and consciousness. Hello, fabulous new job. FML
by sicksicksick / 06/01/2012 at 4:41am / Senegal / Health
Today, I was texting the girl I am in love with. I was dropping hints about liking someone who I didn't know if they liked me back. Flirting a little. And just when I thought she'd say she liked me too, she said "Don't worry, if you were straight, I would definitely date you!". FML
by fml7458364838 / 06/24/2009 at 9:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out he's my cousin: priceless. FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML
by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by goodbye / 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in my parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into my parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on my parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp for air then throw up all over their bed. FML
by Noname / 02/26/2009 at 11:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML
by JLoistheBomb / 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML
by frankrizzo / 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by buddy / 01/26/2009 at 9:58am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
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- Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded,… Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break… Today, I was making out with this guy I had been seeing, and things start to get pretty steamy. As…