About starw0lf : I have been an FML reader (lurker) for a while and decided to make an account just recently.
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starw0lf's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/17/2013 at 1:51am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by EconM / 10/03/2013 at 11:38am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I helped my brother propose to his girlfriend of 5 years in the spot where they had first met. As he delivered his heartfelt speech, a sizable crowd appeared. When he got down on one knee, she punched him in the gut, yelled, "I never loved you", and ran away. Now he won't talk to me. FML
by ElizaZee / 09/18/2013 at 9:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by ugh Buck! / 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm / United States / Animals
by single again / 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, some aggressive asshole was tailgating me on my way home, bumping into me twice. I got scared and kicked my car into high gear and got out of there. Seconds later, a traffic cop came out of nowhere and pulled me over for speeding. FML
by no, don't save me or nothing / 08/04/2013 at 12:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/30/2013 at 8:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by imagrouch / 07/30/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML
by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Maine) / Transportation
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my husband received the "antique" samurai sword that he bought on Craigslist with $399.99 of our money. He only shared my outrage at the waste of money when he opened the package, only to find a toy sword along with a note saying, "HAHA, TROLLED." FML
by juliearis / 07/06/2013 at 3:45pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money
by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML
by firestar772 / 06/12/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Kids
- Today, my little cousin that's sleeping over tried to reenact the game "Elsa brain surgery" with me… Today, I was playing video games in the dark and drinking soda during the slow periods. When I took… Today, I woke up to my husband nuzzling my arm in his sleep. It would have been very sweet had he…