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starw0lf

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starw0lf
  • Town/Country : Maine, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1220
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About starw0lf : I have been an FML reader (lurker) for a while and decided to make an account just recently.

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starw0lf's favorite FMLs

Today, after spending the night hanging out with a beautiful girl we start to walk back to my place. Halfway there she turns and says, "I wish you were a vampire" and goes back home. FML

#1834550
643 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83898) - you deserved it (6637)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:12am - intimacy - by Hallllo (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked into a restaurant with my parents to celebrate my Mom's birthday. They immediately got a kid's menu and crayons out for me. I'm 15. FML

#1588127
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45656) - you deserved it (7508)

On 05/03/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by TooShort (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal on accident. FML

#1206397
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64341) - you deserved it (24427)

On 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by hairball (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

#1104891
400 comments

I agree, your life sucks (448917) - you deserved it (25560)

On 04/19/2009 at 12:05am - intimacy - by soontobedivorced (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML

#1101827
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9102) - you deserved it (91641)

On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

#1033363
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27380) - you deserved it (258313)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I told my ex boyfriend I lost 20 lbs because of the stress of the break up. His response was "you're welcome." FML

#889567
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45876) - you deserved it (23324)

On 04/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by blutownie13 - United States

Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML

#800940
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33865) - you deserved it (158417)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 8-year-old sister learned how to type her name into a phone using the number key-pad. I later found my phone on the kitchen counter with all my contacts under her name. FML

#740938
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59928) - you deserved it (8879)

On 04/01/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML

#720830
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94146) - you deserved it (5929)

On 03/31/2009 at 6:44am - love - by lizzardbreath (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
485 comments

I agree, your life sucks (561822) - you deserved it (35265)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML

#539856
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63733) - you deserved it (30721)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm - kids - by Noca (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went for a jog in my neighborhood. While I was running I passed my girlfriend's parents who were out for a walk. Trying to make a good impression, I stopped to talk. When I got home I realized I was wearing a shirt that friends gave me as a joke. It said "Blow me, bitch. It's my b-day." FML

#343744
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16463) - you deserved it (70031)

On 03/15/2009 at 3:32pm - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (468342) - you deserved it (23774)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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