About starw0lf : I have been an FML reader (lurker) for a while and decided to make an account just recently.
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starw0lf's favorite FMLs
by Slash / 06/16/2009 at 12:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML
by psychortiz / 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I put my 3 year old down for her regular nap. About an hour later I wake up from a dream where I was smelling something awful. When I woke up, the smell was still there, so I tracked it down. My daughter had decided to "fingerpaint" with the contents of a dirty diaper. FML
by cgregg01 / 06/03/2009 at 1:11am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I got an acceptance later to a great boarding school in India for my senior year of high school. I sent them a letter telling them I wouldn't go, because I just got back with my ex-boyfriend. I just got a text from my boyfriend. Guess who's my ex again? FML
by tarini / 05/27/2009 at 4:12pm / Bangladesh (Dhaka) / Love
by Hallllo / 05/11/2009 at 1:12am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by TooShort / 05/03/2009 at 10:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, my shower is being renovated so I decided to wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML
by hairball / 04/21/2009 at 8:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML
by soontobedivorced / 04/19/2009 at 12:05am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML
by asdfghjkl / 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by tvaladie / 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation
by blutownie13 / 04/09/2009 at 6:11pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/01/2009 at 2:07am / United States (California) / Geek
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brothers wedding, and introduced me as "the one" to his entire family. FML
by lizzardbreath / 03/31/2009 at 6:44am / United States (California) / Love
by happybirthday / 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…