About starw0lf : I have been an FML reader (lurker) for a while and decided to make an account just recently.
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starw0lf's favorite FMLs
Today, while at the restaurant I work at, a bunch of kids came in. They all gave incredibly complex orders, laughed at everything I did, and made a huge mess by "spilling" hot sauce and water all over the floor. After they left, I was tipped eleven cents. FML
by MLZ / 07/30/2010 at 4:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML
by betrayed / 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months." FML
by Tim / 07/02/2010 at 11:43am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by megaladon / 06/28/2010 at 4:12am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by k.love / 06/22/2010 at 8:59am / United States (Utah) / Love
by drsyl54 / 03/28/2010 at 5:04am / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy
by MrsRockyHorror / 03/15/2010 at 4:11am / United States (Vermont) / Love
by anonymous / 03/08/2010 at 10:12am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2010 at 7:54am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I was doing takeout orders at the restaurant I work at. I spent a long while putting together this guy's $135.00 order. When he finally got there to pick it up, I told him to fill out the credit card slip. I looked at it after he left. He gave me a 40 cent tip. FML
by richgirl / 02/24/2010 at 7:15pm / United States (Alabama) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/04/2010 at 3:29am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML
by ilovesocks / 01/20/2010 at 1:17am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/11/2010 at 3:09am / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I realized that I have completely fallen for this incredible guy, and that I am really looking forward to where our relationship will take us. He just informed me that he will be doing jail time following his court date Tuesday. FML
by brokenrelicslost / 01/08/2010 at 3:06pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…