Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

starw0lf

Offline (the 05/10/2015 at 7:22pm) | Search for a member

starw0lf

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2970
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About starw0lf : I have been an FML reader (lurker) for a while and decided to make an account just recently.

starw0lf's page activity

Visits<b>badassmf1234</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 6:40am<b>Passerbyer</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 1:47am<b>xDochx</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 2:12am<b>blackhawkdown69</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 8:22pm<b>yamuri</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 8:26am<b>Soxfan16</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 10:15pm<b>guineagirl</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 12:02pm<b>SpiderInsomniac</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 9:15pm<b>chattysoul890</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:54am<b>jicou</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:40am<b>foxxakush</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:37am<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 4:06am<b>UnluckyGenius</b> - the 12/25/2013 at 9:29pm<b>earmuffs</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:27am<b>silentshadow90</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 8:27am<b>camjarvis44</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 7:17pm<b>capri96</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 3:47am<b>sleepRX</b> - the 11/21/2013 at 12:56am

starw0lf's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of starw0lf's badges

starw0lf's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to meet the girl he has been cheating on me with. He thinks it makes the cheating more understandable if I see how 'hot' she is. FML

#17165263
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60748) - you deserved it (5661)

On 07/18/2011 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

#17162129
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38377) - you deserved it (5716)

On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

#16966057
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40974) - you deserved it (5810)

On 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by WasteOMoney - United States (Texas)

Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML

#16881052
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38483) - you deserved it (5132)

On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was driving when a guy in a truck swerved in front of me. I didn't realize I'd sworn until I'd come to a red light and my one year old daughter yelled her own version of what I said. She now yells "Chicken in the hole!" whenever the car comes to a stop. FML

#16867812
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10326) - you deserved it (25309)

On 06/26/2011 at 4:47pm - kids - by Mommy - United States (Oregon)

Today, my daughter spent three hours crying and having a temper tantrum over being forced to have a bath after four days without one. My daughter is 16. FML

#16862726
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46212) - you deserved it (10191)

On 06/26/2011 at 6:32am - kids - by Unsanitary (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to spend the night at my house because my dad would be working out of town, and once the rest of the house left I thought it'd be sweet if he snuck in my room and slept with me. His reply was "Why bother? You're on your period, it's not like we can do anything." FML

#16556995
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45880) - you deserved it (13295)

On 06/08/2011 at 1:21am - intimacy - by kimboslice106 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my ex husband is marrying my sister. FML

#16279756
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (96619) - you deserved it (6410)

On 05/21/2011 at 11:31am - love - by uetlqdja - United States (Texas)

Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML

#15931410
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34234) - you deserved it (7787)

On 04/26/2011 at 5:45am - animals - by weirdome23 (woman) - United States

Today, I found out via a Twitter post that my girlfriend is pregnant. FML

#15706061
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38611) - you deserved it (8072)

On 04/09/2011 at 7:40am - misc - by Tweety (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while making my son lunch, he pooped, took off his diaper, stepped in it, and then climbed to the gate to call for me. When I arrived, he had a big smile on his face and exclaimed, "Look!" Shit footprints were everywhere. FML

Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML

#15617500
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15507) - you deserved it (24792)

On 04/03/2011 at 5:35am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

#15472026
413 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50170) - you deserved it (8175)

On 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm - misc - by omg - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my son was on Facebook while he was supposed to be studying. He called me a liar and accused me of making up excuses to chew him out. How do I know he was online? He liked and commented on a video I posted. My son is a dumbass. FML

#15398872
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46999) - you deserved it (8201)

On 03/20/2011 at 12:10pm - kids - by parenting_failure (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

#15381959
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49945) - you deserved it (8040)

On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: