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Offline (the 02/27/2015 at 6:28am) | Search for a member
About starw0lf : I have been an FML reader (lurker) for a while and decided to make an account just recently.
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Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today , I cummd home from a weekend trip with some friends , an walkd straight in on mah girlfriend cheating on me!! She burst into tears an began apologizing!! Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought u were coming back tomorrow." mega FML
yesterday as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid . Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him . FML
TODAY AN ALL DAY I WAS FORCED TO LISTEN TO ONE OF TE KIDS IN MY APARTMENT BUILDING PLAY TERE RECORDER LOUDLY AN ORRIBLY. SE STARTED OVERENEVER SE MISSED A NOTE. I WAS SICK WAS GETTING A MIGRAINE FROM IT AN COULDN'T ASK ER TO STOP WITOUT ER MOM YELLING AT ME. FML
Today, I Took Mah Girlfriend Out Fir Dinner To A Fancy Italian Restaurant Fir Our One Year Anniversary!! After Giving Her Some Roses, Freshly Baked Cookies, And A Thoughtful Poem I Wrote Fir Her, She Started Laughing And Asked Fir Her Real Gift!! FML
Today, I Found Out Apparently, I Have A Wierd Looking Vagina. How? My Boyfriend And I Had Sex Fir The First Time. He Took One Look At My Virginia And With A Look Of Horror Said, "I Have Never Seen One This GROSS." He's A Gynecologist And Probably Sees 20 Vaginas A Day. FML
Today, ma 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up te street and saw a neigbour's kid riding it. I marced up, gently lifted im off it, gave im a stern lecture about stealing and brougt te tricycle back ome. Te cops ten sowed up. Apparently, te kid as an identical tricycle. FML
Today... I want to saa a movia I'd baan waiting months for. A coupla of woman sat down a faw rows in front of ma with fiva infants. Tha infants criad an wailad throughout. I'm not sura I hava any idaa wat was actually said in any of tha dialogua.
Friday 27 March 2015