Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

starryeyed_0811

Search for a member

starryeyed_0811

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 January 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1370
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About starryeyed_0811 : That's my dog. Not me....just in case there was any confusion. I love FMLs! I get some type of twisted joy by reading other people's bad experiences. Well yea that's it. "Hugga Mugga." : )

starryeyed_0811's page activity

Visits<b>frranman</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:38pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:20pm<b>PostItSticker</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 6:44pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 1:28pm<b>andyhitts25</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:55am<b>flufee2</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 4:28pm<b>suplarai</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 10:58pm<b>Katiakatxx</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 8:16pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 6:22am<b>Just_Ya</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 7:49am<b>rebecca_xo</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 2:36pm<b>amtkldr</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 11:53am<b>poulkrebs</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:54pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 7:54pm<b>RichardDickanus</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 7:41pm<b>vj21</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 6:17pm<b>chargers2588</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 11:36am<b>vanessuhm</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 5:26am

starryeyed_0811's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of starryeyed_0811's badges

starryeyed_0811's favorite FMLs

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37643) - you deserved it (8154)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, I learned that if you stare down an attractive man while pumping gas, he'll stare back. Then he might ask for your number. At which point his girlfriend will get out of the car and threaten to kick your ass. FML

#17413656
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28315) - you deserved it (11770)

On 08/09/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by **(: - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a friend from work threw a party. We each had to dress up as a deceased celebrity. I thought it'd be a perfect time to dress up as Marilyn Monroe. When I arrived to the party, my boss said, "But... Rosie O'Donnell isn't dead." FML

#17347220
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28965) - you deserved it (6218)

On 08/02/2011 at 7:46pm - work - by theonlychildd1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34750) - you deserved it (3781)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML

#16950296
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31202) - you deserved it (2377)

On 07/02/2011 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

#16650975
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10020) - you deserved it (50126)

On 06/13/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out in a motel room. Just before we really got started I noticed that I forgot to close the drapes. Once I got up to close them I saw 3 maids and the manager run away. FML

#16588229
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34986) - you deserved it (12267)

On 06/10/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by henry feingold - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while driving, a minivan cut me off. Pissed, I started honking and cursing. I then went ballistic when the driver waved out the window, smiling. It wasn't until I was at a stoplight that I noticed their "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. FML

#16263941
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26704) - you deserved it (14213)

On 05/20/2011 at 6:07am - misc - by Max Flynn -

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

#16200408
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (63541)

On 05/16/2011 at 1:40am - intimacy - by phoenix101 -

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

#15869241
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32705) - you deserved it (12880)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by alopez1994 -

Today, I informed my grandparents of my upcoming graduation from college. My grandma looked at me with tears in her eyes, and told me how proud she was that I was able to make it so far in spite of being autistic. I am not, nor have I ever been autistic. FML

#15170920
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37540) - you deserved it (3092)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by Acesup111 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took a picture of myself and put it on Facebook. After I did so, I realized that in the background, you can see my crush's Facebook page up on my laptop. He tagged himself. FML

#15105515
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16379) - you deserved it (47902)

On 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by verasam01 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was fired. My boss told me via email that it was because I "don't have enough experience with fun spiritual." Uh, what? FML

#15092237
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28004) - you deserved it (2512)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML

#15079652
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22139) - you deserved it (33891)

On 02/22/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by CutieBooty (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML

#15038922
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11550) - you deserved it (42856)

On 02/19/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: