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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 January 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2549
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About starryeyed_0811 : That's my dog. Not me....just in case there was any confusion. I love FMLs! I get some type of twisted joy by reading other people's bad experiences. Well yea that's it. "Hugga Mugga." : )

starryeyed_0811's page activity

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starryeyed_0811's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML

by rejected / 04/13/2012 at 1:09am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

by FoodyFood / 03/19/2012 at 12:59am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids

Today, I got my yearbook. My sister and I are identical twins, and we realized only my sister had a picture in it. When we asked the head of yearbook, they said they thought it was the same girl trying to get two pictures, so they put in the prettier one. FML

by Rynne S. / 03/13/2012 at 2:12am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

by JeffeeBojangles / 02/28/2012 at 7:46am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I found out that the money my husband and I gave to my son for university courses, has instead been spent on pole dancing lessons. FML

by jj159 / 02/25/2012 at 1:40pm / United States / Kids

Today, I tried to treat a cut on my butt hole with Neosporin. I couldn't see it properly, so I had to use the front-facing camera on my phone. FML

by 11niko / 02/01/2012 at 11:57pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2011 at 4:18pm / United States / Kids

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

by last literate / 10/27/2011 at 12:15pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Work

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

by mycedes / 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

by lolilovemyboyfriend / 10/19/2011 at 10:37am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, on my first day of being a trainee teacher in a classroom, I told a boy to stop using that stupid accent or else I'll give him a detention. Turns out he just moved here from Romania. FML

by KillMeNow / 10/18/2011 at 12:08pm / United Kingdom (Sefton) / Kids

Today, working as a life guard, I walked through the changing room to go back to the pool. On the way, a naked old man started up a conversation with me. We talked for 10 minutes about pool chemicals, while his penis wobbled around with every small movement. This happens all the time. FML

by Dr.Octopus454 / 10/07/2011 at 10:58am / United Kingdom (Warwickshire) / Work

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

by Prinpette / 09/20/2011 at 5:20pm / France / Intimacy

Today, my husband went in for surgery and handed me an important document. It wasn't a will or anything similar, but a list of items and gold he wanted passed on to guild members on World of Warcraft. FML

by WoWWidow / 09/02/2011 at 4:02am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML

by Leota / 08/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States (Nebraska) / Love