starryeyed_0811

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starryeyed_0811

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 January 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2308
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About starryeyed_0811 : That's my dog. Not me....just in case there was any confusion. I love FMLs! I get some type of twisted joy by reading other people's bad experiences. Well yea that's it. "Hugga Mugga." : )

starryeyed_0811's page activity

Visits<b>frranman</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:38pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 7:20pm<b>PostItSticker</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 6:44pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 1:28pm<b>andyhitts25</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 2:55am<b>flufee2</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 4:28pm<b>suplarai</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 10:58pm<b>Katiakatxx</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 8:16pm<b>StiffPvtParts</b> - the 12/01/2013 at 6:22am<b>Just_Ya</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 7:49am<b>rebecca_xo</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 2:36pm<b>amtkldr</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 11:53am<b>poulkrebs</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 4:54pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 7:54pm<b>RichardDickanus</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 7:41pm<b>vj21</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 6:17pm<b>chargers2588</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 11:36am<b>vanessuhm</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 5:26am

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Judgmental

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starryeyed_0811's favorite FMLs

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall, my mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked: 'TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK'. FML

by Ohgodmother / 02/28/2014 at 4:06am / Australia (Tasmania) / Kids

Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML

by awkward / 02/22/2014 at 12:39am / United States / Intimacy

Today, trying to be a responsible parent, I bought my daughter a pack of condoms in case she ever decided to have sex. She turned them into balloon animals and went back to playing video games. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2014 at 10:47am / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, a woman pushed a stroller in front of my car. Thinking I'd hit someone, I jumped out. Turns out it was a doll. The "woman" was a 14-year-old girl, claiming, "I did it for the Vine!" FML

by Parusu / 02/12/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

by LadyDeadpool88 / 02/04/2014 at 9:50am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2014 at 11:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

by ChickenBallsPlease / 01/28/2014 at 6:16am / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, in revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego in my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. 5ML

by limping / 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm / Canada / Kids

Today, my sister found out that Justin Bieber got arrested and now she won't stop crying. 5ML

by Estee1024 / 01/24/2014 at 12:28am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2014 at 12:15am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I had to skip class to attend a truancy court hearing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/14/2014 at 1:30pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous