About starla_xoxo : I love riding horses, being outside and being with my amazing boyfriend. (:
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starla_xoxo's favorite FMLs
Today, despite my best efforts to keep my new apartment clean and weeks of denying the complex has a bug problem, I came face to face with a roach in my cupboard. I swear the little bastard waved at me. FML
by jettison17 / 07/28/2016 at 2:41am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
by DFTBA but FML / 07/22/2016 at 3:51am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I was told that the $8,500 bill for my new water well grew to $11,000 because of a fair amount of overtime. I learned that the men I hired to drill the new well at our home were spending the overtime drilling my daughter as well. FML
by loserman67 / 07/18/2016 at 8:04am / Intimacy
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy several years ago. I've been faithful the whole time, but he wouldn't believe me, even after I showed him that vasectomies can reverse themselves. FML
by Anonymous / 07/17/2016 at 10:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/16/2016 at 5:34am / Canada (Manitoba) / Work
by MATTY2512 / 07/13/2016 at 2:13pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his tazer at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tazed him for acting aggressively. FML
by anonymous / 11/10/2015 at 5:15pm / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous
Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML
by Hipnog / 11/07/2015 at 9:33am / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous
Today, I got married. The minister pronounced us husband and wife using our first names. Except he used my husband's ex-wife's name. I happened to glance at my mother-in-law who was almost in tears from laughing so hard. FML
by jellenwood / 11/07/2015 at 8:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML
by downgirl / 11/04/2015 at 1:02am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals
Today, I drove in heavy rain for the first time, by myself. I had been told to drive below the speed limit, and be extra careful of the cars around me. Nobody had told me about thunder scaring a cow that would then escape from the corral and hit my car. FML
by damaged / 11/03/2015 at 10:24pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML
by nocongratsneeded / 11/03/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health
Today, my dad got dressed up in formal clothes, and I asked what the occasion was. He said he had a hot date, which would've been fine if he hadn't told me what was "on the menu", namely "wining, dining, sixty-nining". Thanks for that image. FML
by ew / 11/03/2015 at 10:43am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 2:25pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love