starla_xoxo

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Offline (the 11/13/2015 at 8:44pm)

starla_xoxo

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starla_xoxo
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4924
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About starla_xoxo : I love riding horses, being outside and being with my amazing boyfriend. (:

starla_xoxo's page activity

Visits<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 3:02pm<b>Shay_Shay97</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 1:41am<b>kittykittyrun</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 6:46pm<b>Livin_Like_Larry</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 10:06am<b>omgpp</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 8:21am<b>tinywingzzz</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 9:20am<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:40pm<b>boostedc</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 3:01pm<b>gingaa96</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 1:26am<b>DJisHere11</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:56am<b>blueman_17</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 11:26am<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 7:11am<b>Demig0d6</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 3:53am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:07pm<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 8:41pm<b>Beansforbill</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Kyklopes</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 10:37am<b>ShakeDisPlace</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 10:34am

starla_xoxo's FML badges

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starla_xoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend, who is rather large, picked me up to give me a hug, and some over-eager security guard actually pointed his tazer at him and told him to put me down. So he put me down and tried to ask what he'd done wrong. The bastard tazed him for acting aggressively. FML

by anonymous / 11/10/2015 at 5:15pm / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous

Today, I realised how damn creepy I am because I get nervous and smile when someone looks at me, and no it's not one of those smiles you'd love looking at, it's a smile straight out of a horror movie. I made a bunch of children run away. FML

by Hipnog / 11/07/2015 at 9:33am / Czech Republic / Miscellaneous

Today, I got married. The minister pronounced us husband and wife using our first names. Except he used my husband's ex-wife's name. I happened to glance at my mother-in-law who was almost in tears from laughing so hard. FML

by jellenwood / 11/07/2015 at 8:12am / United States (Texas) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML

by downgirl / 11/04/2015 at 1:02am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals

Today, I drove in heavy rain for the first time, by myself. I had been told to drive below the speed limit, and be extra careful of the cars around me. Nobody had told me about thunder scaring a cow that would then escape from the corral and hit my car. FML

by damaged / 11/03/2015 at 10:24pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML

by nocongratsneeded / 11/03/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dad got dressed up in formal clothes, and I asked what the occasion was. He said he had a hot date, which would've been fine if he hadn't told me what was "on the menu", namely "wining, dining, sixty-nining". Thanks for that image. FML

by ew / 11/03/2015 at 10:43am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend had the choice of A) living alone gaming, or B) moving in with me, gaming in his own man-cave, lots of sex, and lots of pizza. He chose choice A. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 2:25pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love

Today, I asked a guy out. He told me no. Well, his exact words were "I would never go out with a whale, sorry." Then he went on to make whale noises. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2015 at 2:05pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML

by time to buy a gun / 11/01/2015 at 11:22pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Animals

Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML

by anonymous / 11/01/2015 at 10:13pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML

by guessthatsatrickthen / 10/31/2015 at 1:19pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Miscellaneous

Today, a tailgating idiot rear-ended me at a red light, then had the balls to say it was my fault for "driving too close" to his car. FML

by fuck off you fucking shitburglar / 10/31/2015 at 6:20am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Transportation

Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML

by caroline / 10/29/2015 at 4:02pm / Germany / Kids

Today, I got fired from my job a week before I started my new position in a different area of the company. My supervisor found out I was going to be making more money than her. FML

by cpizzle12 / 10/29/2015 at 6:20am / United States (Virginia) / Work