About stargazer091 : Not much about me that's interesting. Soo...
stargazer091's FML badges
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
stargazer091's favorite FMLs
by hardwarekit / 10/31/2014 at 10:27am / United States (New York) / Work
by kimmykins27 / 10/31/2014 at 8:58am / United States / Kids
Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2014 at 6:55am / United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff) / Kids
Today, the fire alarm keeps going off at my apartment. Not only is the noise ear-piercingly loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood, there's also a big flashing red light in case the deafening sound isn't enough. This is my day off. It's going on all day. FML
by Shutup! / 10/31/2014 at 6:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by facebookdeception / 10/31/2014 at 12:25am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love
by taylor w / 10/30/2014 at 10:32pm / United States / Intimacy
by wow / 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by thealaskanyoung / 10/29/2014 at 11:58pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML
by carless / 10/29/2014 at 11:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML
by NoColor / 10/29/2014 at 9:09am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML
by shadysheikh / 10/29/2014 at 12:55am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2014 at 7:54pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/28/2014 at 5:58pm / United States / Health
Today, I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom with my husband, so I set up some Halloween torches to create a wild ambiance. Unfortunately our dickhead neighbours saw the glow, didn't remember that fire tends to give off smoke, and called the fire department on us. FML
by BurnedDown / 10/28/2014 at 4:45pm / United Kingdom (East Riding of Yorkshire) / Intimacy
Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2014 at 2:35pm / United Kingdom / Work