sr0859

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sr0859

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 601
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About sr0859 : I love music,drawing,singing,playing video games, and hanging with my friends

sr0859's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 5:48pm<b>chargers2588</b> - the 07/09/2013 at 2:39pm<b>B0esz</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 7:18pm<b>Bakarra</b> - the 07/03/2013 at 2:55am

sr0859's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of sr0859's badges

sr0859's favorite FMLs

Today, I needed a change of clothes, so I called my mom. She brought me a grey shirt with a toucan on the front and Mexico City spelled in glitter. I asked her why she would bring me such an ugly shirt, and she started crying. Turns out she bought it for me as a present from her trip. FML

by awwimanahole / 07/04/2013 at 1:07am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 11:09am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

by authorx / 06/27/2013 at 12:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

by the_lonely_life / 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

by Kn0wledge123 / 06/26/2013 at 1:27am / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 12:56am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML

by dan / 06/25/2013 at 12:22am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

by jgtrflynn / 06/24/2013 at 12:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to go buy myself a dildo to use on my lonely nights. Once at the adult store, I also grabbed a birthday card to make it seem the dildo wasn't for me. At the register, the cashier looked at me and said, "For God's sake, save yourself some money. I already know it's for you." FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 6:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend announced to everyone at dinner that she was no longer a virgin. This was news to everyone: her parents, siblings, best friend, and me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 2:55am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I had a threesome. He suggested we have another guy. It ended up devolving into a twosome, and I wasn't part of it. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 2:39am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh / 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Intimacy