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spritnerd

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spritnerd
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  • Number of visits : 28
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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spritnerd's favorite FMLs

Today, and every other night since my new neighbors moved in two weeks ago, their cat has been standing outside my house meowing constantly up at my window, where my cat keeps standing and meowing back. It's like a feline version of Romeo and Juliet, and I can't sleep. FML

#21024543
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43090) - you deserved it (4322)

On 01/11/2014 at 1:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I was admiring a beautiful painting I had hung in my bedroom. My brother kindly pointed out that when flipped upside down, it takes the shape of a lunatic girl with bleeding eyes. Now I can't unsee it. FML

#20994837
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36656) - you deserved it (3416)

On 12/16/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by nightmarestonite - Canada

Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML

#20986172
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49233) - you deserved it (2945)

On 12/09/2013 at 10:10am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my wicked mother has been with us for a week. She's already thrown away my daughter's favorite toy, broke my computer, scratched my oak table, stained my most expensive shirt, peed in our bed, and called the attention of the cops by staring at kids in school. She's staying for three months. FML

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39173) - you deserved it (7165)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43543) - you deserved it (4600)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, my mom is convinced that my cat is the reincarnation of Vincent van Gogh. Why? He sleeps under my sunflowers and is a ginger tabby cat. FML

#20854246
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30727) - you deserved it (2484)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:16pm - animals - by KatVanGogh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got caught shoplifting a toothbrush. I'm flat broke and my roommate used my old one to scrub out her cat's puke stains off the carpet. FML

#19997834
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18916) - you deserved it (15523)

On 08/02/2012 at 2:53am - money - by busted - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finished working a 70 hour work week. I'm a lineman for the electric company, and worked extended hours all week getting people's lights back on after a wind storm. When I got home, my power was out. FML

#16032358
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35857) - you deserved it (2608)

On 05/03/2011 at 1:58pm - work - by LightsOut - United States

Today, after a horrible day at school, I went through the McDonald's drive thru for an ice cream cone. Everything went well until I had to pull a sharp turn. The ice cream is now no longer on the cone, but instead all over my hands, face, steering wheel, and the carpet. FML

#9074868
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7946) - you deserved it (18879)

On 03/14/2010 at 2:29pm - work - by teachingsucks (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (328946) - you deserved it (35699)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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