Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

spork_of_doom

Search for a member

spork_of_doom

89Fucked!

spork_of_doomspork_of_doom
  • Town/Country : Jackson, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 January 1998 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1548
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About spork_of_doom : Hi my name is Sarah and I'm 17. I consider myself to be somewhat of a nerd/geek. My favorite TV shows/animes are Sherlock, American Horror Story, and Hetalia. I can usually be found lost in my music. I prefer to listen to indie and punk rock. I prefer Marvel over DC but all in all Flash is the best. I'm asexual and have yet to fall for anyone. Message me if you want. I like to make new friends.

spork_of_doom's page activity

Visits<b>Hoboman69</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:20pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 3:46pm<b>mhoch22</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 10:37pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 5:12pm<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:55pm<b>TheLastCenturion</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:24pm<b>SupernovaEclipse</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 3:05pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 10:43pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 8:50pm<b>cmchappy</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 3:16pm<b>xSLEEPYxHEADx</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 3:00am<b>softpaws</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 5:32am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 7:28am<b>The_Curvy_Girl</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 6:05pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 8:40pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 4:47pm<b>TheOnlyX</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 10:36pm<b>CelticKing</b> - the 11/30/2015 at 2:51pm

Fucked!<b>TheLastCenturion</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 10:25pm<b>xSLEEPYxHEADx</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 9:00am<b>LewisHamper</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 8:55pm<b>random_funnygirl</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 7:05pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 3:51pm<b>pd2902</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 12:44pm<b>Cayers97</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 7:02pm<b>Jatin_fckmylife</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 2:42pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 1:55pm<b>Twill3422</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 6:54am<b>Corey122726</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 8:31pm<b>dani_me</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 6:05pm<b>broken_deathtrap</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 3:46am<b>mattgainey</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 6:12pm<b>DragonDude</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 5:43am<b>anthony_Calderon</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 4:41am<b>airsoftguy44</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 2:49pm<b>austinchristy77</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 6:19am

spork_of_doom's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of spork_of_doom's badges

spork_of_doom's favorite FMLs

Today, while in the waiting room at the dentist's office, I looked up at the news on the TV to see my husband's mugshot. FML

#21443899
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28019) - you deserved it (2089)

On 07/19/2015 at 5:02am - misc - by wtf did he do - United States (Alaska)

Today, I started my day off with a relaxing cup of coffee, the morning paper, and the sound of my mother informing me I will be going to hell for being not believing in God. FML

#21417394
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27366) - you deserved it (5216)

On 05/29/2015 at 12:16am - misc - by idonthavereligion (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my father tried to excuse his alcoholism by saying that his stomach stops working, and he needs to drink vodka to get it started again. FML

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

#21400396
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (3961)

On 04/27/2015 at 12:58am - work - by advanced history teacher (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to call a few different women and explain to them that my little brother had catfished them. I had to do it because he is mute and my parents were too busy screaming at him. FML

#21335978
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28283) - you deserved it (2146)

On 01/12/2015 at 8:11pm - misc - by PO'd big bro - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found my intoxicated step-father in our back yard trying to domesticate a stray opossum, attempting to give it steak and malt liquor. FML

#21334215
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28999) - you deserved it (2326)

On 01/09/2015 at 10:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend said "You're a real work of art. You know, the abstract kind that no one likes. Anyway, we need to break up." FML

#21302073
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39542) - you deserved it (3560)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:40pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36001) - you deserved it (3502)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37441) - you deserved it (3911)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38517) - you deserved it (4213)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27869) - you deserved it (56075)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47918) - you deserved it (10561) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39238) - you deserved it (19183)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

#21200680
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56757) - you deserved it (8458)

On 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by oh shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54150) - you deserved it (4618)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: