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spazzmckiwi

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spazzmckiwi
  • Town/Country : Atlanta, GA, U.S.A.
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 February 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 4531
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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spazzmckiwi's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

#869023
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14087) - you deserved it (84359)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

#794025
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66314) - you deserved it (16921)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally passed a math exam. I go home super excited to tell my mom, yelling "Mom! Guess what!?!?!" She turns to me all happy and goes "You finally got a boyfriend!?!?!?" FML

#698857
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58373) - you deserved it (6437)

On 03/30/2009 at 6:14am - misc - by wasntme (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I asked a boy I like to prom by writing all over his car. After nervously sitting by the phone all day, I decided to go out to get lunch. I found the word "No!" written all over my car. FML

#696995
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33412) - you deserved it (58105)

On 03/30/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by lauren (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68775) - you deserved it (148506)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

#644123
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75812) - you deserved it (14634)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML

#287682
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128590) - you deserved it (19247)

On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, me and my boyfriend had some crazy rough sex. In the process I ended up with huge bruises and bite marks all over my neck and chest. I'm giving a speech on domestic violence today. FML

#260982
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26880) - you deserved it (83095)

On 03/10/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

#185266
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54856) - you deserved it (9692)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML

#182768
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71908) - you deserved it (7254)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:28pm - kids - by E (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

#170218
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52076) - you deserved it (13675)

On 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by Scottrick (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML

#90751
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83581) - you deserved it (3373)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by screewit (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was secretly listening to a voicemail from my mom in maths class when I accidentally hit the speaker phone button. My whole math class now knows I have a gyno appointment at 9:45 on March 11. FML

#67507
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11750) - you deserved it (41068)

On 02/18/2009 at 10:43am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I realized the annoying squealing I hear every night isn't my guinea pig. Apparently my brothers girlfriend makes that sound when they have sex. FML

#62926
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41539) - you deserved it (2714)

On 02/17/2009 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by KTK (woman) - United States (Washington)



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