Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

spatula232

Online | Search for a member

spatula232

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 February 1945 (70 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 429
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About spatula232 : ...

spatula232's page activity

Visits<b>Jennandco</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 3:19am<b>meli1195</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 4:14am<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 10:40pm<b>LPisLame</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 4:20pm<b>funsizedliz</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 3:12am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 10:11pm<b>lafillemange</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 6:18pm<b>weeyin12</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 6:53pm<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 5:48pm<b>172pilot</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:56pm<b>thee_most_dope</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:58am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:58am<b>Space_Teddy</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 7:46am<b>merethevh</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 5:40am<b>flopstar</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 2:28pm<b>jay0627</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 11:49am<b>kodyyblue</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:24am<b>IceMan11</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 3:59am

Fucked!<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:39am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:53pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 1:58pm<b>sk8rdud3</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 8:27am

spatula232's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of spatula232's badges

spatula232's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML

#21390758
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27065) - you deserved it (4534)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:24pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32582) - you deserved it (3037)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43227) - you deserved it (19567)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

#21312610
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33658) - you deserved it (9922)

On 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by fuckered519 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

#21192852
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43618) - you deserved it (15410)

On 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML

#21187434
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45112) - you deserved it (4126)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:10am - work - by Sam - United States (California)

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

#21179613
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24959) - you deserved it (50536)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I started my job as a driving instructor. My first client showed up piss drunk. FML

#21174767
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40489) - you deserved it (3951)

On 06/14/2014 at 8:34pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

#21084464
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38021) - you deserved it (5528)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39339) - you deserved it (10384)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26206) - you deserved it (8643)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML

#20458937
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44523) - you deserved it (9242)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17473) - you deserved it (29910)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: