spastiksarcastic

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spastiksarcastic

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 July 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1947
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About spastiksarcastic : so much swag

spastiksarcastic's page activity

Visits<b>abattior</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 9:55pm<b>Rachmini</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 7:08pm<b>ballerinaaub</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 12:28am<b>Shiningstartp</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 3:58pm<b>LimeSharpie</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:21am<b>bitchwhore</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 4:01pm<b>profoundkisses</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 12:58pm<b>FuhrerBurg</b> - the 01/13/2013 at 8:02pm<b>DingoCJ</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 12:08pm<b>Miss_Attitude96</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 1:31pm<b>B5B0N35</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:25pm<b>c00lsk8erboi</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:01pm<b>jangalianxi</b> - the 12/22/2012 at 2:30am<b>lmc94</b> - the 09/09/2012 at 11:00pm<b>BIGASSTITS</b> - the 02/22/2012 at 3:01am<b>mstangchck</b> - the 01/25/2012 at 2:28am<b>ChaosAngel17</b> - the 01/11/2012 at 11:07pm<b>glittercookies</b> - the 01/06/2012 at 1:35pm

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spastiksarcastic's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

by WhyAppleWhy / 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

by pride? what's that? :( / 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

by TheBeautifulOne / 08/23/2012 at 9:42am / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was shopping at a store with my friend, I noticed a cute girl smiling at us. My friend said "She's all yours," and walked away. When I approached her, she asked me if my friend was single. FML

by ZAS / 08/22/2012 at 12:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML

by JMG / 08/19/2012 at 1:25am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

by jjs51 / 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my recent ex-girlfriend posted a photo of herself on Facebook. It was a picture of herself in the arms of a half-naked male stripper. She posted it on my wall. FML

by sisco2901 / 01/22/2012 at 4:12am / Slovakia (Nitra) / Love

Today, I was working at Staples and organizing some notebooks. All of a sudden, I jumped up because of a sharp pain in my back. A little girl had grabbed a stapler and stapled my back. FML

by thosedamnkids / 01/22/2012 at 12:09am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I found out the guy that my girlfriend introduced as her brother was actually her boyfriend. I also paid for him to come out with us to the movies several times. FML

by addicted2v / 01/21/2012 at 8:25am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I got fired. My coworker decided to imitate my voice, stand outside of my boss's office door, and say insulting things about his daughter. FML

by XxJennJennXxX / 01/20/2012 at 7:13am / United States / Work

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

by anon / 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2012 at 6:30am / Australia / Transportation

Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML

by Dooh / 01/17/2012 at 6:12pm / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Intimacy

Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, "You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey." FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 3:26am / Libyan Arab Jamahiriya / Intimacy

Today, after over a year of lifestyle changes and a ritualistic exercise regime, I finally reached my goal weight. I excitedly told my boyfriend, and he responded, "Yeah, that's nice, but now your tits are tiny". FML

by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 8:10am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy