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spacemanspiff78

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spacemanspiff78
  • Town/Country : ok, us
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 960
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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spacemanspiff78's favorite FMLs

Today, while doing my job as a cart clerk, a gentleman went around the parking lot and picked some trash up, trying to help out. Faith in humanity: +1. About an hour later I saw a woman pick a bug off of her windshield and eat it. Faith in humanity: -200. FML

#20009222
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20776) - you deserved it (2083)

On 08/08/2012 at 7:23am - work - by TJ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9390) - you deserved it (17615)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43839) - you deserved it (8536)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

#19275580
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21292) - you deserved it (11033)

On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5195) - you deserved it (23356)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

#18966203
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21687) - you deserved it (4836)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:13am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, while standing in line at the supermarket, I reached past my wife to get a pack of gum. She jokingly did the "battered wife flinch" to get a laugh, and smiled at me from behind her hand. The cop staring at us obviously didn't notice the smile and definitely didn't think it was funny. FML

#18120236
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24156) - you deserved it (3271)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by spacemanspiff78 (man) -

Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML

#17973930
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25451) - you deserved it (3026)

On 10/13/2011 at 8:24am - kids - by daddoesn'tknowbest - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

#17706134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13359) - you deserved it (45323)

On 09/09/2011 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by omfgnooo (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boss stopped mid-walk during a conversation about the humidity in our office, after I told him I didn't like the air conditioner on, because I'd rather not be cold and wet, and that I liked it warm and sticky. I knew then he was no longer thinking about the AC. FML

#17498648
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10323) - you deserved it (30483)

On 08/17/2011 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35020) - you deserved it (7810)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42964) - you deserved it (11016)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out when he sweetly whispered in my ear "it's not gonna suck itself." FML

#16541898
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42964) - you deserved it (11016)

On 06/07/2011 at 2:51am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

#16157379
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26995) - you deserved it (5094)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:23pm - animals - by crazycat - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML

#16157379
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26995) - you deserved it (5094)

On 05/13/2011 at 12:23pm - animals - by crazycat - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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