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soulebelius

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soulebelius

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3411
  • Number of comments : 67
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 8 posted

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soulebelius's page activity

Visits<b>Steph_mmarie</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 11:14pm<b>gis0392</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 5:27pm<b>Theglc20</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 7:19am<b>Thinkitthrough</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 7:14am<b>anonopop</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 7:17am<b>Jinxsie</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 11:24am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 8:09am<b>fightingkittens</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:17am<b>Zoey_M</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 4:20pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 4:43pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 8:07pm<b>SLFrankyD</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:21am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:40am<b>staaacey</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:22pm<b>yoursucklives</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 2:25am<b>theboringdolphin</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:32am<b>kidmemexoxo</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 2:03am<b>euphoricness</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 11:38pm

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soulebelius's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML

#21272255
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35618) - you deserved it (3682)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23622) - you deserved it (34646)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37270) - you deserved it (3910)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41808) - you deserved it (11651)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39899) - you deserved it (2535)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

#21259489
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33007) - you deserved it (3220)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:46pm - animals - by furryfriend (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a call about a job interview, saying I was hired. I was ecstatic, until they called me back and said they'd called the wrong applicant. They called again later, saying there'd been a mistake and I really was hired. When I went in to confirm it, they said they'd never heard of me. FML

#21252552
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46387) - you deserved it (2508)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by almost governmental (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, my husband asked our tax professional if we could file my profession as "Expert Dream Murderer." I'm a guidance counselor. FML

#21251173
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35759) - you deserved it (4949)

On 09/03/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20328) - you deserved it (40305)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was waiting at a stop light in the left turn lane, when a homeless guy on the sidewalk walked up to my car with a, "Bet you can't hit me with a quarter" sign. The lady on my right decided to throw a quarter at him, but it missed and hit my windshield. She yelled, "Oh fuck!" and drove away. FML

Today, I went to a job interview, and a guy ahead of me went to enter the building, only to walk face-first into a glass door. I rushed to help him up, and after we had a good laugh about it, I turned to walk inside, only to walk straight into the door as well. FML

#21236025
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41310) - you deserved it (8873)

On 08/12/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by facefuckedguy (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband and I attended a funeral. After the service, my phone vibrated. It was a text from my husband, saying "I've got mourning wood like you wouldn't believe! get it? MOURNING. haha :D" I looked up and saw him across the room, winking at me. Not the place, honey. FML

#21234106
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52519) - you deserved it (6861)

On 08/10/2014 at 3:26pm - intimacy - by jackie89 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

#21233221
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43644) - you deserved it (4102)

On 08/09/2014 at 11:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her". The conversation ended with me getting hung up on because I "don't have a heart". FML

#21232277
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48666) - you deserved it (4563)

On 08/08/2014 at 2:05am - intimacy - by pocketrocket90 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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