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soulebelius

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soulebelius
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1500
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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soulebelius's favorite FMLs

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

#21050005
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39150) - you deserved it (3914)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:16am - misc - by Lithiac - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

#21049461
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41077) - you deserved it (5318)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20516) - you deserved it (54286)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, I was packing, when my parents told me to put my little sister's toothbrush in the top pocket of their suitcase. The pocket I opened had 3 unopened boxes of condoms in it. We're going to my gran's house, and I'm going to be sleeping on a mattress on the floor of their room. FML

#21040204
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45985) - you deserved it (3620)

On 01/26/2014 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I dropped my phone in the wet snow. I read that putting it in rice helps to get the water out. Three pieces of rice are now frozen into the power port, and I can't get the charger in. FML

#21034026
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37213) - you deserved it (11547)

On 01/20/2014 at 3:34pm - misc - by merrr - Canada

Today, my boyfriend started whispering "blowjobbbb" into my ear while we were watching a movie. When I asked him what he was doing, he denied ever saying it and claimed it must have been a subliminal message in the movie. FML

#21033101
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42984) - you deserved it (5777)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by Subliminal message (woman) - Switzerland

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

#21024175
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43108) - you deserved it (4818)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:55am - love - by rollergirl13 - United States (Alaska)

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46242) - you deserved it (15918)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I asked my mom why she had two tooth brushes: one manual and one electric. She said: "I only use the manual one for brushing my teeth." FML

#21013669
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41575) - you deserved it (5826)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Vincent - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. My wife got pissed when I didn't immediately check on her, but rather the other driver. That other driver was my daughter. FML

#21012945
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51559) - you deserved it (4133)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:21pm - love - by Crashed - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML

#21011563
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38125) - you deserved it (2906)

On 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm - misc - by awkword (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43552) - you deserved it (4930)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36733) - you deserved it (3649)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, I was admiring a beautiful painting I had hung in my bedroom. My brother kindly pointed out that when flipped upside down, it takes the shape of a lunatic girl with bleeding eyes. Now I can't unsee it. FML

#20994837
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36663) - you deserved it (3417)

On 12/16/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by nightmarestonite - Canada



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