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soccer555

Offline (the 02/16/2015 at 8:33am) | Search for a member

soccer555

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 5 June 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7432
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About soccer555 : Soccer is everything

soccer555's page activity

Visits<b>diesel_power</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:10pm<b>brainymes</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 9:16pm<b>Pesticides</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 12:13pm<b>killer0689</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 7:56am<b>olpally</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 1:29pm<b>leary96</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:28pm<b>taylor7013</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 12:04am<b>forizidrizzi</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 6:51pm

soccer555's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of soccer555's badges

soccer555's favorite FMLs

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

#21356659
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32991) - you deserved it (2712)

On 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, my girlfriend confessed to cheating on me. Unfortunately, she's a pathological liar and I can't be sure if it's really true, along with half the stuff she tells me on a daily basis. Love is hard. FML

#21356609
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29013) - you deserved it (9684)

On 02/15/2015 at 11:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, once again I tried to convince my dad to stop smoking. And once again, while I was speaking, he lit up a cigarette and smoked until my asthma flared up and I was wheezing so hard that I had to leave the room. FML

#21356583
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32605) - you deserved it (2446)

On 02/15/2015 at 9:52am - love - by =( (woman) - Australia

Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML

#21356363
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31469) - you deserved it (3161)

On 02/14/2015 at 11:07pm - misc - by Rubyscooby212 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35705) - you deserved it (4972)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35723) - you deserved it (3408)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

#21356030
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26650) - you deserved it (1907)

On 02/14/2015 at 3:04pm - love - by hopeless - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

#21355983
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30765) - you deserved it (2062)

On 02/14/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

#21355947
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29443) - you deserved it (9075)

On 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I got a text from my mom shaming me for forgetting my sister's birthday. It isn't her birthday today, it's mine. FML

#21355845
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35305) - you deserved it (1564)

On 02/14/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by secret - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out someone, most likely my psycho ex, has been posing as me on local interest websites, trolling a load of people, and giving them my address so they can come fight me. I found this out when a gentleman showed up at my house wanting to beat me shitless. FML

#21355802
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29333) - you deserved it (1595)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:14am - health - by u wot? (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, my youngest daughter finally started using the toilet on her own. That is, until her older sister showed her the South Park episode where someone gets their intestines sucked out by flushing the toilet. Now she won't go anywhere near the bathroom. FML

#21355782
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31507) - you deserved it (3182)

On 02/14/2015 at 4:46am - kids - by Investing in Toilet Seatbelts - United States (Nevada)

Today, while at the office, a surprise Valentine's gift arrived for me, the first I've ever received. It was a box of heart-shaped cookies. From my mother. I'm 39. FML

#21355623
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27317) - you deserved it (3103)

On 02/13/2015 at 10:49pm - love - by FMAhole - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I gave birth to a baby girl. Where was my husband after the agony finally ended? Standing just outside the room, flirting with a nurse. FML

#21355574
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34809) - you deserved it (2912)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend told me she wanted to get pregnant. I thought that was good news, but then she said she wanted my boyfriend to be the father of her baby. FML

#21355556
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34597) - you deserved it (2077)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:43pm - misc - by DumbFace714 - United States (California)



Caroline Maerten's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #1: Valentine's Day
  • It's a brand new Valentine's day, so here's a brand new blog section. Yep, you read that right, we're using the fact that Valentine's day is vaguely a controversial…

Friday 13 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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