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snippit
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 533
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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snippit's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25283) - you deserved it (2617)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24269) - you deserved it (2422)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16923) - you deserved it (3625)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML

#20131002
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23145) - you deserved it (2037)

On 10/24/2012 at 7:14am - misc - by bill - United States (Maryland)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6471) - you deserved it (44537)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5617) - you deserved it (15702)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21060) - you deserved it (1966)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
525 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71964) - you deserved it (8401)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

#20107225
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29378) - you deserved it (5101)

On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

#20077962
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42407) - you deserved it (6144)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

Today, I discovered why my girlfriend is so obsessed with cutting my nails. She collects my clippings in a jar under her bed. She claims it will keep us together longer. FML

#20049093
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25907) - you deserved it (1977)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:04am - misc - by freaked out - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

#20047830
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29437) - you deserved it (5865)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27687) - you deserved it (5417)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



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