About smokecloud_ : hey.
thats my dog max in my picture. he's awesome.
About smokecloud_ : hey.
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smokecloud_'s favorite FMLs
Today, my two year old has learned new things from his best friend. His best friend is our dog. He's learned to eat dog food, lick people, and now he's started taking off his diaper to lift his leg and pee. FML
by proud parent / 05/21/2016 at 12:03pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, I saw a man help an elderly lady with her tray at the local McDonald's. I wanted to do something nice for him, so I added a couple extra nuggets in his meal. He later came up to me and told me I was dumb and didn't know how to count, and that was why I was working at McDonald's. FML
by korbo7 / 05/16/2016 at 11:26pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
by ER1C / 05/16/2016 at 8:35am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
Today, I was out shopping with my son and unbeknownst to me, he had secretly added a bunch of expensive games he wanted to the trolley. I was too embarrassed at the till to make a fuss as there was a huge line behind me. I watched as my normal £50 shopping bill climbed to over £400. FML
by pissed off mother / 05/05/2016 at 1:55pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Money
Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it. FML
by ChaosFerret / 05/03/2016 at 4:53pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, I discovered my cat is bathroom shy when I accidentally walked in on him relieving himself. He jumped about 3 feet in the air and bolted out, launching feces and pee all over the bathroom, hallway, and my shoes. FML
by poop / 03/24/2016 at 2:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, after asking my hubby for what seems the millionth time to stop shoving his finger into my bum crack, I thought it would be funny to give him a taste of his own medicine by doing it to him. Right as my finger was in his crack, he let loose a huge fart. FML
by Grimmy / 03/17/2016 at 4:12am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by sadandmad / 01/20/2016 at 11:09am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by snortingspunk / 12/03/2015 at 7:52am / South Africa / Intimacy
Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML
by anonymous / 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm / Switzerland (Zug) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/20/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I decided it was time to have "the talk" with my daughter, after I found a thong in the washing machine. She denied it was hers and pointed out how it was too big to fit her. I ended up having a very different talk with my son. FML
by caroline / 10/29/2015 at 4:02pm / Germany / Kids
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2015 at 11:05am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Intimacy
Today, my parents pranked me hard. They spent breakfast messing with my head, all to convince me that I was dreaming. I got so excited at finally having a lucid dream that I ran outside in my pajamas, yelling "Woo-hoo!" and trying to fly. Nothing happened. People saw. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dog was all over me, and I couldn't help but notice she kept sniffing towards my boobs. Turns out, she wasn't there to get love from me. She was there for a piece of food that I didn't notice had fallen in my bra. FML
by FereldonBorn / 10/01/2015 at 6:41am / United States (California) / Animals
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…