Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 January 1987 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1627
  • Number of comments : 431
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 54 posted

About smokecloud_ : hey.

thats my dog max in my picture. he's awesome.

smokecloud_'s page activity

Visits<b>AndrewAAA</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:12pm<b>cameosurgeon</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 4:44pm<b>mmmxr</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 2:32pm<b>aliciarnold</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 12:41pm<b>brndnmcmillan</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 11:12am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 8:39am<b>sexymomo1234</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 11:47pm<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:13pm<b>nesteremily</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 4:49pm<b>cate18</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:36am<b>izkiz</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 11:15pm<b>wantmeasandwich</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 11:24am<b>taterrtots</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 11:37pm<b>RagingWill</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 12:04pm<b>RavingHaven</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 1:41am<b>hamrtym</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 7:58pm<b>TommyG493</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 7:39pm<b>iAlissa</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 3:48pm

Liked!<b>cate18</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 3:36pm<b>budgiebirds</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 7:48pm<b>Lozolol</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 1:24pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 10:38am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 6:07pm<b>briang959</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:01pm<b>Essieee</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:55am<b>gabyh94</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 11:16am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:24pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 10:02am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:07pm<b>lukian</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 12:27am<b>makkarari</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 9:30am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:34am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:51pm<b>sophieeee139</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 9:12pm<b>TheOnlyMizLiv</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 3:12am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:10am

smokecloud_'s FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of smokecloud_'s badges

smokecloud_'s favorite FMLs

Today, what my friends call my "resting bitch face" freaked my boyfriend out enough during sex that he went soft inside me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28531) - you deserved it (6353)

On 03/14/2015 at 4:22am - intimacy - by sa la vash (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30880) - you deserved it (3063)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32784) - you deserved it (3411)

On 01/20/2015 at 10:08am - misc - by mybfthecrossdresser (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30477) - you deserved it (2069)

On 01/02/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by tokinallday - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27765) - you deserved it (11614)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38900) - you deserved it (8545)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44148) - you deserved it (5661)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42149) - you deserved it (21901)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49957) - you deserved it (6255)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML


I agree, your life sucks (41549) - you deserved it (12536)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, despite all of the pictures and proof of my fiancé, my parents still think I have an imaginary boyfriend. They met him, and were there when he proposed. They think it's all a joke. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54485) - you deserved it (4083)

On 01/05/2014 at 2:11am - love - by Fiancé problemsss - United States (Montana)

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47837) - you deserved it (4841)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML


I agree, your life sucks (51093) - you deserved it (8393)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I woke up from a drunken one-night-stand. The person I slept with turned out to be heavily pregnant. She tried to convince me that I am the father and that I passed out for 7 months. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44593) - you deserved it (18016)

On 11/18/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by flavored (woman) - United States

FML's blog

  • Sidonie's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! In this week's edition, some pedalos, some kittens, a bunch of gypsy singers, some ponytails, a crooner, a house that looks like Hitler, a joke about George W. Bush's cocaine habit and a brilliant…

Thursday 19 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: