smc3106

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Offline (the 08/11/2015 at 1:17pm)

smc3106

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 28 April 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 982
  • Number of comments : 85
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About smc3106 : Former Army soldier, always looking for the next fun thing to do...

smc3106's page activity

Visits<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 7:57pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 7:28pm<b>chr1sF</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 8:37pm<b>ninety</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 1:29am<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 7:17pm<b>erichseebauer</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 11:48am<b>Radioactive_Kiwi</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 1:50am<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 3:48pm<b>DubiousDude69</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:56pm<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:49pm<b>beezybaby4714</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 10:37pm<b>ModernZelda</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 4:25am<b>freebird5of1979</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 8:08pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 6:31pm<b>Spillelister</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 12:22pm<b>demi94</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:22am<b>lizardFace</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 9:35pm<b>Animekid126</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 4:22am

smc3106's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of smc3106's badges

smc3106's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

by lights on forever / 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm / Turkey (Istanbul) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were going at it doggy style, really fast, when she started laughing. I asked her what was so amusing and she giggled, "I can't feel anything in there." FML

by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 8:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

by fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo / 07/28/2013 at 12:23pm / United States / Work

Today, I was on a bus and I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. According to a few other passengers, I nestled into the chest of the guy next to me, and hit him every time he made a noise. FML

by accountnamevalid / 07/21/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I went on a blind date and we seemed to have hit it off nicely. I asked him if he could drive me home. Along the way he stopped on a pitch-black road and told me to get out so he could take a picture. He then gave me my bag and drove off, leaving me stranded in the middle of nowhere. FML

by Misshhh / 07/19/2013 at 12:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a friend thought it would be funny to make a R.I.P. page for me on Facebook. Most liked post? "Too bad this page is fake." FML

by the hated / 07/08/2013 at 10:02pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the doctor's, a week overdue with my first child, I was told that sex and orgasms can sometimes help to induce labor. On the way home, my boyfriend asked for road head, arguing that "She said that stuff about orgasms." Not you, honey. FML

by realitybites / 07/08/2013 at 1:03pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking down the street when someone pushed me into poison ivy. He ran off saying, "That's for beating me in the race." I've never been in a race, nor have I ever met him. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2013 at 11:15am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog decided to poop while inside a revolving door. Before I could do anything, the door swung around and smeared it everywhere. My dog excels at timing. FML

by PerfectTiming / 07/08/2013 at 7:19am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals

Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML

by FUCK.THIS.JOB. / 07/08/2013 at 1:57am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Work

Today, I woke up at a strangers house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML

by jagerbombs / 12/30/2009 at 2:08pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I really get off on hearing her say my name so I was imagining her doing so more often than she actually was. I then called out my own name by accident. FML

by eeh / 05/07/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

by thatsucks / 02/28/2009 at 6:10am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love