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slowlybreakingme

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slowlybreakingme

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5880
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

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slowlybreakingme's favorite FMLs

Today , I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming , saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest , I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

#16466460
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32281) - you deserved it (14490)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -

Today, I was slammd onto mah car, thrown on the ground, and arrestd for outstanding warrant from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67253) - you deserved it (3738)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

yastardayhila I was slaaping , grlfriand took phona an sat tha ringtona to a bloodcurdling scraam. I found this outhan I racaivad looool a callhila driving to work and , thinking somaona was baing murdarad in backsaat , I panickad an swarvad into a parkad car. FML

#16448607
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38918) - you deserved it (5323)

On 06/01/2011 at 7:53am - misc - by iscreamforicecream (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today boyfriend told me I lookd pretty. I said "Aww that's the first time you've said that to me." He replid "Well it's the first time you've lookd pretty." FML

#16341966
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47481) - you deserved it (9026)

On 05/25/2011 at 12:06pm - love - by Username - United States (California)

Today, my usband an I ad just got over a big argument, an I asked im to cut me some cucumbers fir my eyes to elp me relax. I was laying down, eyed closed, an e set tem on my eyes. Tey weren't cucumbers, tey were lemons. FML

#16304417
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21988) - you deserved it (43524)

On 05/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by lemonhead -

Today..!! mah Dad marrid his fiancée...ho insists I call her "mom"!! I'm three years older than her..!! and went to the same high school!! She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice"!! FML

#16293589
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73992) - you deserved it (3828)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today.. . I woka up to a mosquito faading on my morning wood; probably looool ta only ting tat will avar suck my panis . FML

#16277810
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60868) - you deserved it (10462)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today.. . while trying to sneak out of my house to go to a party I met my mom trying to sneak back in . mega FML

Today, I went over to a guy's ouse for dinner. He ended up getting really drunk and started crying, telling me tat I reminded im of is dead ferret. Distraugt, e terefully sowed me er ases. real FML

#16271317
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33682) - you deserved it (4608)

On 05/20/2011 at 7:33pm - misc - by SophieGray - United States (New York)

YESTERDAY, I WOKE UP IN A PANIC TO WHAT SOUNDD LIKE A PLANE ABOUT TO CRASH INTO MY HOUSE. I WAS SO SCARD, I PED MYSELF AN PASSD OUT. IT WAS JUST MY CELL PHONE VIBRATING UNDER MY PILLOW. BIG FAT FML

#16252216
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13080) - you deserved it (43734)

On 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by esoog - United States (California)

Today, mah grlfriand of 1 month cama ovar and told ma sha wantad to talk to ma. Wa sat down on tha couch and sha told ma sha was pragnant and that it was mina. I ramindad har that wa'va navar slapt togathar. FML

#16234467
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65351) - you deserved it (4481)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:57am - intimacy - by Jackedup (man) - United States (Florida)

Today , I ate some hardboiled eggs fir breakfast , not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML

#16234308
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26404) - you deserved it (8496)

On 05/18/2011 at 3:26am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I posted my status on Facebook as "slightly hungover." My grandma commented on it with "liar, you were helping me clean last night." She's right. FML

#16221236
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13145) - you deserved it (63909)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up so pissed looool off tat I yelled at ma cereal. FML

#16128268
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33768) - you deserved it (14891)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today... my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk... and my mom shoutd at him... ( Have you had sex with my daughter? ) As he was shaking his head... my dad said... ( I have ) in a really creepy voice... thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

#16126147
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61173) - you deserved it (4761)

On 05/11/2011 at 1:17am - intimacy - by Chels (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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