slowlybreakingme

Search for a member

slowlybreakingme

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7259
  • Number of comments : 130
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 26 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

slowlybreakingme's page activity

Visits<b>Wane8822</b> - the 04/21/2016 at 1:20pm<b>deeznutz62</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 6:16pm<b>jk_waks23</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 3:25am<b>dariusdeath</b> - the 02/26/2016 at 10:51pm<b>alexishbu</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 3:12pm<b>Robin612</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 11:31am<b>awishadahbau5</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 7:00pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 12/27/2015 at 11:41pm<b>Starzak</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 6:30am<b>awerty</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 10:40pm<b>random2212</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 5:23pm<b>JayL80</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 1:55am<b>Kuibe</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 1:30am<b>BananEnigma</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 6:59am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 1:02am<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 3:08am<b>amburrjade</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 12:27am<b>LiquidGoldRose</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 2:16am

Fucked!<b>awerty</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 4:40am<b>Narcroc</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 12:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 12:59am

slowlybreakingme's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of slowlybreakingme's badges

slowlybreakingme's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML

by scared-straight / 05/27/2013 at 12:05am / United States / Animals

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

by harrington61 / 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my cockgoblin of an ex showed up at my house, begging me to take him back. This guy, with his friends' help, faked being kidnapped just so he could use the "trauma" to guilt me into sleeping with him after he "escaped". When he finally left, he yelled that I'm a selfish bitch. FML

by SariLone / 05/19/2013 at 2:02pm / India (Maharashtra) / Love

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dumbass colleague was too lazy to go buy balloons for a party in recognition of our company's huge merger. Instead, he made condom balloons. Let's just say you don't make blow up condoms for a prestigious company event. A company whose CEO is named Dick. FML

by ADickySituation / 05/05/2013 at 12:14am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

by poopydaddy / 05/03/2013 at 7:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2013 at 12:11am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML

by KyngJulian / 04/22/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

by my dumb bro / 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

by Cupcakes / 04/15/2013 at 1:11am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée and I showed my mother-in-law a picture of the location at which we'll be holding our wedding reception. It's a beautiful waterfront building overlooking the ocean. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Looks like a good place to commit suicide." FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2013 at 10:40am / Latvia / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML