slooby

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Offline (the 06/24/2016 at 6:52am)

slooby

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9952
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About slooby : You don't fool me, Effy Stonem

slooby's page activity

Visits<b>pungij</b> - the 11/15/2016 at 11:09am<b>Galaythius</b> - the 11/06/2016 at 9:40pm<b>ScratchCatPower</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 6:53pm<b>weedle99</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 2:14pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 08/26/2016 at 11:27am<b>ZombieSlaya115</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 6:39pm<b>lui_pg</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 2:51pm<b>littlesward</b> - the 08/14/2016 at 4:25am<b>1915destroyer</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 7:29pm<b>max367</b> - the 08/05/2016 at 12:39am<b>ForeverSushi</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 3:41am<b>IsathatSo</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 3:22pm<b>FifaSkiller</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 1:08pm<b>Aubs3993</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 8:25pm<b>grajax</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 3:37am<b>DKING123456789</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 9:13am<b>completenonsense</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 5:42pm<b>BrooklynGirl36</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 5:42pm

Fucked!<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 11:39pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 3:22am<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:06pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:07am

slooby's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of slooby's badges

slooby's favorite FMLs

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

by saywhat / 04/09/2013 at 7:05am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

by Mr.no contacts / 03/31/2013 at 3:00am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

by Badam / 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm / France (Aquitaine) / Love

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML

by InfamousLastWord / 03/27/2013 at 3:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Holidays

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

by kindergarten teacher / 03/23/2013 at 9:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

by SmallAngel / 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I woke up to my cat giving birth, on my bed. I adopted her from a friend, who told me she was spayed. Now I have a giant mess and a cat who won't let me move either her or her babies. Guess I'm sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

by DommeAshlee / 03/21/2013 at 2:42pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, there was a new girl in one of my classes. We both corrected a classmate on his grammar, so, trying to make a new friend, I leaned back to her and said, "Haha, fellow Grammar Nazi?" She gave me a disgusted look and told me she was Jewish. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2013 at 6:43am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML

by meeee / 03/21/2013 at 6:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend still won't talk to me, after I caused him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joined their conversation and ended up confusing the fictional characters of Gollum and Yoda with one another. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2013 at 8:12pm / France (Centre) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love