slooby

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Offline (the 06/24/2016 at 6:52am)

slooby

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8429
  • Number of comments : 200
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About slooby : You don't fool me, Effy Stonem

slooby's page activity

Visits<b>ForeverSushi</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 3:41am<b>IsathatSo</b> - the 07/15/2016 at 3:22pm<b>FifaSkiller</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 1:08pm<b>Aubs3993</b> - the 06/19/2016 at 8:25pm<b>grajax</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 3:37am<b>DKING123456789</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 9:13am<b>completenonsense</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 5:42pm<b>BrooklynGirl36</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 5:42pm<b>TheInitiator</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 9:44am<b>RealChewyPiano</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 2:24am<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 5:39pm<b>anonymous0110902</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 9:41am<b>turtles_yup</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 8:20pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 3:20pm<b>Jackimo98</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 9:52pm<b>PopBlox</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 10:11pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 1:46pm<b>maddymarie123</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 5:25pm

Fucked!<b>Xx_Slayer_xX</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 11:39pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 5:08pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 3:22am<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 12:06pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 6:07am

slooby's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

See all of slooby's badges

slooby's favorite FMLs

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

by UHM / 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm / United States / Love

Today, my ex-wife put my number on Craigslist as a gay fashion designer needing a one night stand. I only found out when I got a text from an unknown number asking me when was the last time I "ate a black anaconda". FML

by Craigslist is Evil. / 09/24/2013 at 2:12pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, my niece, who is fifteen, convinced my six-year-old daughter that her name is spelled C-U-N-T, and just pronounced as Catherine. FML

by cuntsmom / 09/24/2013 at 12:47am / United States / Kids

Today, I hit a new low in my financial troubles when I left my work to retrieve twenty-five cents after seeing someone drop it across the street. FML

by collegebroke / 09/22/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

by meganmagee / 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, as I was getting my nails done at a salon, the owner pulled my head back against the chair in front of all the customers and began to tweeze my eyebrows. When I exclaimed that I didn't pay for that service, she replied, "I don't care. This needs done." FML

by BaMiTsAnYa / 09/15/2013 at 9:21pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband thought it would be acceptable to watch Breaking Bad on Netflix with my 4-year-old in the room. What happened to be the only line he picked up? "Well heil Hitler, bitch!" I found out from his preschool teacher. FML

by Anonymous / 09/03/2013 at 12:13am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

by criminal tit offender / 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

by me / 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, a kid in class dropped his paper on the floor. I held on to my desk with one hand and reached for the paper with my other hand. I lost balance and tilted both my chair and desk over, nailing the floor as everything on my desk hit the ground with me. He picked the paper up himself. FML

by nice guys finish last / 08/20/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I forgot to shut off some pumps before closing the main valves that run to them. Several sirens soon started blaring at a deafening level. I'm new here and nobody else is around. I don't know how to shut the sirens off. FML

by oops / 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous