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slooby

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slooby
  • Town/Country : canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2624
  • Number of comments : 190
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About slooby : You don't fool me, Effy Stonem

slooby's last visitors

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slooby's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

#20046142
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16865) - you deserved it (1909)

On 08/28/2012 at 11:56am - love - by StillBetterThanTwilight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27687) - you deserved it (5417)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19363) - you deserved it (1684)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

#20040696
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17071) - you deserved it (7859)

On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32229) - you deserved it (9797) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6862) - you deserved it (16381)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change. FML

Today, after a few weeks of smuggling a baby caterpillar into work every day just to make sure it ate and stayed alive long enough to turn into a butterfly, it finally did. Before it could fly free, a bird turned it into a snack. FML

#20033849
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19883) - you deserved it (4807)

On 08/21/2012 at 12:56pm - animals - by goodbyefriend - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at Starbucks after having a rough day. The old man beside me was talking to his friend. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him point at me and say, "See that beautiful girl over there?" Flattered, I listened closer, until he finished his statement with, "She's gonna die." FML

#20031501
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21829) - you deserved it (1742)

On 08/20/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by scared to leave the house (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I pulled out a book and my bookmark fell out. My crush picked it up and a weird look came across his face. I then realized I had used toilet paper. Now I'm the girl who reads while taking dumps. FML

#20031031
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16710) - you deserved it (5650)

On 08/20/2012 at 12:03am - misc - by Cottagecheeseha (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31994) - you deserved it (1528)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

#20027054
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21368) - you deserved it (1707)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:39pm - misc - by wow, thanks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom bitched me out, calling me a selfish pig and saying that the reason I don't have a girlfriend is because I'm so conceited. All of this because I started watching the latest episodes of Breaking Bad without her. FML

#20026224
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18019) - you deserved it (3197)

On 08/17/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by elijah (man) - United States

Today, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend and his mom. The hostess asked if I needed "the kid's menu," remarked how I look "so grown up for your age," and asked what grade I was in. I said I'm in university. She laughed as if it was the best joke ever told. I'm 22. FML

#20020595
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20363) - you deserved it (1052)

On 08/14/2012 at 12:52pm - misc - by ugh (woman) - United States

Today, my son displayed an interest in chess, and asked me to teach him to play. Five minutes in, I captured his queen. He screamed "SCREW THIS STUPID GAME", slammed his fist down on his pieces, and started crying because of the pain. He's fourteen years old. FML

#20019380
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19005) - you deserved it (3688)

On 08/13/2012 at 8:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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