About slimblack : Hi there! My name is Amanda and I'm 16. I live in Michigan but my heart belongs in England. I'm an honors student who loves to read and write in her spare time. I play 8 different instruments and I LOVE to sing. I'm a huge geek when it comes to bands. I'm a huge fan of 5 Seconds of Summer and One Direction. I have 16 cats that I absolutely adore and I'm proud of that. Most of my friends and family call me a crazy cat lady! I'm a dork but I'm very accepting and inviting so feel free to chat with me any time! Thanks for taking time out of your life to read about me. :*
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slimblack's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/28/2014 at 10:48pm / United States (California) / Geek
by KristaAaronn / 08/27/2014 at 8:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Health
by embarrassed / 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
by you ripped them off ages ago / 08/17/2014 at 2:15am / United Kingdom (Derby) / Kids
by bad birthdays / 08/16/2014 at 1:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML
by Anonymous / 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm / New Zealand / Kids
by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/31/2014 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I hugged my dad. Since I don't hug him very much, he was confused. When I pulled away from him, smiling, he slapped me, saying the smiling and the hug made it look like I was "up to something." FML
by teentee401 / 07/07/2014 at 1:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML
by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals
Today, as I was putting on sports shoes to get to a job interview in a hurry, a man ran past me and grabbed my formal shoes while shouting, "Ninja!" Try explaining to the guy at the interview why I was wearing sneakers with a skirt suit. FML
by Baskets-Tailleur / 07/07/2014 at 2:58am / France / Love
by notoneatall / 07/06/2014 at 11:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML
Today, I called my mother crying, telling her how my husband has apparently been cheating on me for months. To my surprise, she didn't interrupt me or cut me off the whole time. Only when she didn't respond, did I realize she'd hung up a half an hour ago. FML
by ILOVELEDZEPPELIN / 07/06/2014 at 4:27pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all… Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday… Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I…
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, I was in a taxi in Mexico. The driver got fed up with the traffic and decided to cross the… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…