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sleepy_jaz

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sleepy_jaz

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  • Number of visits : 1216
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sleepy_jaz's FML badges

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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sleepy_jaz's favorite FMLs

Today, I was given my yearly evaluation as a cake decorator at Walmart. They said I "was easily the best decorator there" and "the bakery has definitely improved since I got there." In the same conversation they put "unsatisfactory" on my evaluation and denied my raise. FML

Today, my mom sent me a pic of a blank paper, saying it was a drawing of all the people who wanted to date me. FML

#21362620
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29799) - you deserved it (2589)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:32pm - misc - by toastynippies - United States

Today, my fiance and his family accused me of being with him only because he's rich, refusing to go ahead with the wedding. I accepted his marriage proposal 4 years ago, when he was penniless and unemployed. FML

#21362501
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36902) - you deserved it (2074)

On 02/24/2015 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32264) - you deserved it (2821)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

#21361029
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30808) - you deserved it (3720)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by bugger -

Today, my mother-in-law sent me a pedometer for my birthday. I've been confined to a wheelchair for most of my life. FML

#21360985
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30617) - you deserved it (1767)

On 02/22/2015 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

#21360941
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28580) - you deserved it (4042)

On 02/22/2015 at 8:54am - health - by IngenuityAbsent - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after swallowing my birth control pill, I threw up all over myself. I then had to search through my puke to find my birth control pill and attempt to re-take it. FML

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML

#21360688
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32386) - you deserved it (7733)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

Today, a guy attacked me and tried to steal my bag. I tried to defend myself by biting him as hard as I could. I then woke up to my husband screaming in pain. FML

#21360466
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (3848)

On 02/21/2015 at 3:28pm - misc - by poncho55 (woman) -

Today, my extremely hot coworker told me that I smelled good. At a complete loss for words, I replied, "Oh, I'm sure I don't." FML

#21359386
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26746) - you deserved it (4789)

On 02/19/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by thisiswhyimavirgin (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I've been freezing in my office for days at work. When I finally complained about it to a coworker, she led me into my office, said, "Let me show you something," then pointed out the thermostat I'd never noticed was even there and turned it up with a pitying look. FML

#21358000
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17573) - you deserved it (23032)

On 02/17/2015 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my daughter got her first period. Nobody was home but my husband. He didn't know what to do, except give her a sponge to put in her underwear. FML

#21356191
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35089) - you deserved it (3384)

On 02/14/2015 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

#21355411
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33427) - you deserved it (1834)

On 02/13/2015 at 3:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I discovered that my male coworker, who coincidentally shares my last name, has been telling everyone we're married. I'm 26; he's 58. FML

#21354774
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29904) - you deserved it (1948)

On 02/12/2015 at 3:14pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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