sleepwalker13

Search for a member

Offline (21 hours ago)

sleepwalker13

66Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 5 November 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5858
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About sleepwalker13 : Metalhead. Mechanic. Gamer. Snowboarder. In a relationship and loving it. On FML daily.

sleepwalker13's page activity

Visits<b>Jillianelizabeth</b> - yesterday at 10:58pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/11/2016 at 8:28pm<b>Mons</b> - the 07/10/2016 at 8:19am<b>mrlucky22</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 4:33pm<b>frankmz</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 8:46pm<b>chewsef</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 9:23pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 8:36am<b>Mmaster116</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 10:24pm<b>darkone59</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 10:39pm<b>HeRoxKicks</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 8:16pm<b>firefox9778</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 12:32pm<b>LPac5295</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 6:10pm<b>tiger820</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 10:30am<b>eyepuppy</b> - the 05/24/2016 at 6:48am<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 10:27am<b>Bearamber9210</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 6:40am<b>OMGitsLexxie</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 12:52am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 1:15pm

Fucked!<b>Mmaster116</b> - the 06/24/2016 at 4:24am<b>HeRoxKicks</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 2:16am<b>Urpoppy</b> - the 05/14/2016 at 4:11am<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 8:21pm<b>BalamCruz</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 8:07am<b>DeadxManxWalking</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 3:06pm<b>aabhasj</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 11:55pm<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 4:07am<b>OmgimBored</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 9:38pm<b>FuKcMee</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 12:16pm<b>Vitani_Verci</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 8:48am<b>bigbluetardis</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:52pm<b>BigbenMrJDM</b> - the 01/29/2016 at 3:57am<b>patte</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 3:17pm<b>flannelboss27</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 1:12am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/24/2016 at 12:19am<b>lfrider92</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 1:17am<b>jgilmanx13</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:04am

sleepwalker13's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of sleepwalker13's badges

sleepwalker13's favorite FMLs

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

by Anonymous / 06/14/2014 at 2:42am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Kids

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 12:04am / United States (New Mexico) / Kids

Today, I woke up again to a warm trickling sensation on my neck. It would seem my rabbit has a thing for doing his business on me to wake me up. FML

by Cali girl / 04/03/2014 at 12:36pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

by Anonomous / 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm / United States (Vermont) / Animals

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (Sheffield) / Intimacy

Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML

by just about pissed off / 08/11/2013 at 1:24pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML

by scheisse / 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous

Today, I Googled "How to act like an adult." I'm 37. FML

by forever young / 07/05/2013 at 11:16am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter asked me to get her razors. When my 19-year-old son saw them he asked what they were for, to which my daughter replied, "For my armpits." My son then said, "Girls don't grow armpit hair." FML

by Anonymous / 07/05/2013 at 12:59am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML

by Checkless chick / 05/08/2013 at 6:21pm / United States / Money

Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML

by luvs2spooge89 / 05/01/2013 at 10:27am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML

by Out from Hell / 04/22/2013 at 6:31pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I sat through an incredibly long and tedious class lecture. Just as my professor was nearing the end of his lecture, the resident stoner loudly yawned and asked what we'd been talking about for the past hour. We got to hear most of the lecture all over again. FML

by Anonymous / 03/08/2013 at 12:44pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML

by Alexandra / 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm / United States (Maryland) / Love