slayertack

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Offline (the 06/19/2016 at 6:54am)

slayertack

15Fucked!

slayertackslayertack
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 November 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3231
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About slayertack : Video games, metal and snowboarding.

slayertack's page activity

Visits<b>TheGoatTamer</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 4:53am<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 06/23/2016 at 5:04pm<b>burgermike92</b> - the 06/08/2016 at 2:01pm<b>KeatonHanson</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 6:00pm<b>DerrickJames</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 8:05pm<b>monk191</b> - the 04/26/2016 at 10:43am<b>Michael978</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 4:38pm<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 03/18/2016 at 2:36am<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 12:16am<b>LoneWolf2879</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 9:32am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 5:32pm<b>Dexter_39476</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 9:23am<b>Mrcherryberry</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 9:42pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 9:27pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:22pm<b>schroederk</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 1:50am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 10:54pm<b>lizzeh333</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 1:31am

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 3:27am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 11:36am<b>schroederk</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 7:51am<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 2:40pm<b>grac7</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 12:53pm<b>Quendolin</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 10:20am<b>demamcgirl16</b> - the 09/26/2015 at 5:47am<b>aishah77</b> - the 09/21/2015 at 10:45pm<b>booze_n_bitches</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:19am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 12:53pm<b>cottoncandylips</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 5:07pm<b>Pandacupcakelove</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 10:56am

slayertack's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of slayertack's badges

slayertack's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

by Unknown / 02/07/2014 at 9:18am / United States (Iowa) / Intimacy

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

by give me an F / 01/05/2014 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

by Lonesome / 01/01/2014 at 1:41am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

by Asshole hornet / 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

by vcarder / 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

by -__-" / 09/29/2013 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

by SerenityJ / 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

by ugh / 09/03/2013 at 7:53pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML

by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I forgot to shut off some pumps before closing the main valves that run to them. Several sirens soon started blaring at a deafening level. I'm new here and nobody else is around. I don't know how to shut the sirens off. FML

by oops / 08/19/2013 at 12:00pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work