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slayertack

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slayertack
  • Town/Country : Randle, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 21 November 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 838
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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slayertack's favorite FMLs

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38142) - you deserved it (18152)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24171) - you deserved it (53357)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

#21072136
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20947) - you deserved it (31574) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2014 at 4:45am - work - by sistermonster (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44206) - you deserved it (5976)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45046) - you deserved it (15888)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46760) - you deserved it (15564)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, was my first day as a male cheerleader in an attempt to flirt. The girls were stronger than me and it's now my job to be thrown in the air by girls. FML

#21017728
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39086) - you deserved it (31462)

On 01/05/2014 at 11:16am - love - by give me an F - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42829) - you deserved it (9470)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60862) - you deserved it (4212)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, a hornet thought it would be fun to fly into a candle that I had lit. As the hornet burned to death, it flung its charred body at my face, which is more painful than it sounds. FML

#20936891
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38386) - you deserved it (2992)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Asshole hornet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53814) - you deserved it (2850)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44838) - you deserved it (2778)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML

#20907372
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18085) - you deserved it (36100)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by vcarder (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

#20900063
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42165) - you deserved it (3986)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:45am - misc - by -__-" - United States (Washington)



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