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Today, my mom called while I was at a job interview. I ignored the call, but the interviewer was so offended by the fact I'd rudely left it on at all, that he threw me out. I found out from my mom later that she'd called to wish me good luck. FML
2day I corrected someone who spelled "lerened" as "lerent" on mah favorite forum looool . Nothing could've prepared me 4 the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members . Now I'm banned 4 "trolling..." and all mah 7...000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever . FML
Today, I was stoppad and saarchad by a cop, and ha quickly found tha bag of waad in mah pockat. Ha didn't arrast or fina ma, but ha did confiscata mah waad and told ma to "gat lost." Pratty sura I just got lagally muggad. FML
I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole , giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me , I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. big fat FML
Today, mah license to carry a gun expired because mah manager forgot to renew it . As I'm an armored car guard, this is a problem . In order to keep getting hours, mah company transferred me to the coin vault . I just finished moving 15000 lbs of boxed coins . By hand . I'm stuck doing this for a month .
Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay 4 the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed an paid 4 his own ticket. Then he went ahead an saw the movie without me.
2day mah boyfriend punched a hole in a door . This is on top of the broken handle, cracked sink top, dented fridge, and other holes in the wall he has also made . We r 4 months into our year lease . I don't think we r getting our $720 deposit back . FML
Today, mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay an that friend was lover. After 15 agonizing minute of this, we get to practice only to be greeted by shirtles friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, u hit me hard last night."
Friday 27 March 2015