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skittlesarmy's favorite FMLs
by UHM / 10/06/2013 at 5:54pm / United States / Love
by disappointed / 09/20/2013 at 12:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML
by Anonymous / 08/12/2013 at 7:58pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/01/2013 at 3:36am / United States (Arizona) / Love
by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall / 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm / Cyprus (Nicosia) / Love
Today, I was finally paid back by a friend who wrote a check out. Not really looking at it, I went to the bank to deposit it. As I handed it to the teller, I noticed that he had written "sex" in the "for" memo. FML
by Anonymous / 09/16/2012 at 9:46am / United States / Money
Today, I found out that my colleagues had replaced my email auto-responder with a message saying, "I'm away for two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please address me by my new name: Crystal." FML
by Monsieur-Madame / 05/31/2012 at 4:19pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Love
Today, I was at the laundromat when a huge, tattoo-covered man wearing nothing but denim booty shorts and a wife-beater sat down beside me. He stared at me for a while, before telling me all about how I reminded him of his "first prison bitch." FML
by Anonymous / 05/18/2012 at 10:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by muddled / 05/02/2012 at 2:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Cpt Colin / 01/03/2012 at 2:17am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 5:03am / United States / Miscellaneous
by alaskan1989 / 01/21/2011 at 8:27pm / United States (Alaska) / Intimacy
Today, I went to my Calculus lecture, one of a class of 200 people. As I looked down I noticed that a guy a few rows in front of me was on Facebook. When I took a closer look, I noticed he was viewing my profile. He stalked the profile for a full 45 minutes. I have never met this guy in my life. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 5:00pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Love
by mandinga / 09/06/2009 at 5:35pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
by weeks / 08/19/2009 at 12:41am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana…