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skeetie3395

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skeetie3395
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 October 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 57
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

#20820605
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45708) - you deserved it (3312)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm - work - by x_o (man) - Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron)

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

#20791178
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38347) - you deserved it (2818)

On 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

#20733830
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50867) - you deserved it (4501)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49202) - you deserved it (22849)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

#20640565
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61831) - you deserved it (9125)

On 05/04/2013 at 8:51am - kids - by wtfmama (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20324) - you deserved it (42747)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finished my shift at the nursing home. There was too much snow on the roads, so most of us had to stay overnight. Not only did I not get to go home, I also got stuck sleeping in the same bed that a resident had died in the night before. FML

#20504938
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28687) - you deserved it (1897)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:20pm - work - by death bed (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML

#19744443
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8062) - you deserved it (17633)

On 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

#19505395
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21363) - you deserved it (3435)

On 04/21/2012 at 9:04am - love - by still hungry - United States (Illinois)

Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML

#19067640
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24294) - you deserved it (3670)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm - misc - by chlolivia (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

#18956321
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22974) - you deserved it (7772)

On 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm - intimacy - by idrathernotgiveoutmyname (woman) - Canada

Today, my recent ex-girlfriend posted a photo of herself on Facebook. It was a picture of herself in the arms of a half-naked male stripper. She posted it on my wall. FML

#18877694
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25846) - you deserved it (4335)

On 01/22/2012 at 4:12am - love - by sisco2901 (man) - Slovakia (Nitra)

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

#18864216
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (5058)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by suffersecks - United States



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