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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 31 October 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 92
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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skeetie3395's page activity

Visits<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 6:15am

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skeetie3395's favorite FMLs

Today, a shopper asked me where my nipples were. Seeing as I work in Babies'R'Us, this is a common question. I brought her over to the nursing equipment aisle where she then grabbed my nipples, gave them a twist, and walked away. I need a new job. FML

by NotGabe / 09/01/2013 at 10:25am / United States (Texas) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it was my first day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is not what I had in mind when I applied to work at a retirement home. FML

by x_o / 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm / Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron) / Work

Today, I had to break up a fist fight between two female residents. I work in a retirement home. FML

by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I placed a Bible app next to an app I use for porn, in the hope that it will encourage me to watch less porn. I'm a girl. FML

by lilly1105 / 07/15/2013 at 9:19am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my sister came to stay with me in my apartment for the last few weeks of her difficult pregnancy. However she didn't tell me she was bringing her two dogs, her jackass of a husband, my bratty nephew and an inflatable kiddie pool so she could have a natural water birth in my living room. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 6:48pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

by i hit a cyclist / 05/27/2013 at 7:19am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Transportation

Today, I walked into the living room to find my 11-year-old daughter about to kiss her "not my boyfriend" on the lips. When I asked what she thought she was doing, she peeled a piece of scotch tape off her lips and said, "It's okay! We're using protection." FML

by wtfmama / 05/04/2013 at 8:51am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2013 at 9:40am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I finished my shift at the nursing home. There was too much snow on the roads, so most of us had to stay overnight. Not only did I not get to go home, I also got stuck sleeping in the same bed that a resident had died in the night before. FML

by death bed / 02/13/2013 at 12:20pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML

by still hungry / 04/21/2012 at 9:04am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, my bra burst apart in the middle of class. I then had the privilege of asking my male teacher if I could borrow his stapler to put it back together. FML

by chlolivia / 02/13/2012 at 7:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was texting the guy I like. He's really smart, funny, athletic, and cute. This all changed when he told me he was jacking off. FML

by idrathernotgiveoutmyname / 01/30/2012 at 9:50pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, my recent ex-girlfriend posted a photo of herself on Facebook. It was a picture of herself in the arms of a half-naked male stripper. She posted it on my wall. FML

by sisco2901 / 01/22/2012 at 4:12am / Slovakia (Nitra) / Love

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

by suffersecks / 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm / United States / Intimacy