About sk8_king : love playing football, xbox, and listening to music. I'm a pretty simple guy. also on a side note I hate grammar nazis. this is FML not freakin english class
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
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This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
sk8_king's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm / United States (Wyoming) / Love
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was singing in my dorm. When I left a little later, a cute guy came up to me and asked if I was the girl who'd been singing. I proudly said yes. He replied, "Good thing you finally shut the fuck up!" and walked away. FML
by Anonymous / 11/02/2014 at 11:44am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML
by yee-whore / 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
Today, I witnessed some greasy twat trying to chat a girl up by negging her, which is basically insulting a woman to lower her self-esteem so she's more likely to put out. "Goddamn negger", I muttered. "The fuck did you just say?!" yelled a black guy standing beside me. FML
by Anonymous / 10/10/2014 at 4:38pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML
by theseguysarewhipped... / 10/06/2014 at 11:05am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Anonymous / 10/04/2014 at 10:58am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
by Operation Yewtree here I come / 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by dicksonthebrain / 09/26/2014 at 9:03am / United Kingdom / Work
Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML
by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by camerashyguy / 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by failingdaily / 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm / New Zealand (Hawke's Bay) / Geek
by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 5:57pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by hockusa3 / 09/11/2014 at 11:44am / United States (Maryland) / Transportation