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Offline (the 04/14/2015 at 5:30am) | Search for a member
About singer0421 : Hey world! If you're reading this, then you're fabulous because you decided to visit my profile. Well, thanks! It's nice to know that I said something cool enough or my propic was epic enough for you to come see who I am. Much appreciated! Now go eat some ice cream, relax, and feel good about yourself because I think you're wonderful.
P.S. I won't kik, snapchat, or video chat anyone who messages me because the public school system has ingrained the idea in my brain that every person who chats me is a 40 year old creeper. But feel free to have a nice, light chat :)
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML
Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
Today, I tried to be kind to animals and get my dad to buy cage-free eggs. When I told him it was dollar more, he started yelling and making a scene in the middle of the store, saying that chickens are ugly and they deserve to suffer. FML
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
Friday 17 April 2015