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simplysarcastics

Offline (the 10/30/2014 at 11:50am) | Search for a member

simplysarcastics

5Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2371
  • Number of comments : 223
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About simplysarcastics : You look absolutely stunning today

simplysarcastics's page activity

Visits<b>lellalove</b> - yesterday at 12:31am<b>Sethan01</b> - yesterday at 12:24am<b>MasterTron</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 5:22pm<b>me_ni</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:07am<b>clarabulln</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 2:48pm<b>murtaza95</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 1:19pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:38am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 2:12am<b>pharm121</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 7:10pm<b>afroman52</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 10:19pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 10:08am<b>summer135790</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 11:30pm<b>bipitydooiseeyou</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 5:49am<b>darknut79</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 12:37am<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 5:32pm<b>VampOfSavannah</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 2:14pm<b>MrSassypants</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 8:44am

Liked!<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:35am<b>ghsthnt95</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:07am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:48pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:40am<b>gr4ce_gr4ce</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:54pm

simplysarcastics's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of simplysarcastics's badges

simplysarcastics's favorite FMLs

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

#21216427
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53157) - you deserved it (4892)

On 07/21/2014 at 3:31pm - love - by badluck - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47794) - you deserved it (6805)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69130) - you deserved it (5458)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36274) - you deserved it (17603)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

#21210956
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55926) - you deserved it (4154)

On 07/16/2014 at 4:09pm - love - by betrayed (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindedly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. FML

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML

#21209874
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47382) - you deserved it (10312)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm - love - by Jeff - United States

Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets to spend the night with me in the hospital tonight while I have surgery. FML

#21209860
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45726) - you deserved it (3661)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:11pm - health - by smh (woman) - United States

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

#21209385
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51561) - you deserved it (6424)

On 07/14/2014 at 11:25pm - intimacy - by thedoc (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58376) - you deserved it (7238)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

#21206411
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44255) - you deserved it (4226)

On 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I decided to bring down a very old fan from the attic. I plugged it in, and as soon as I turned it on, tiny spiders were blown all over my room. FML

#21206028
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47183) - you deserved it (16985)

On 07/11/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML

#21203678
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41932) - you deserved it (3818)

On 07/09/2014 at 3:26am - health - by Sun_Kissed18 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to grip the headboard of my bed for the first time in months. I wasn't having incredible sex unfortunately, just really bad gas. FML

#21203235
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41037) - you deserved it (5259)

On 07/08/2014 at 7:37pm - intimacy - by HeartToFart - United States (Florida)

Today, at my local amusement park, I decided it'd be fun to meet someone on the roller coaster by sitting alone and hoping that someone nice would sit next to me. I rode the roller coaster 7 times. I sat alone each time. FML

#21202986
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40792) - you deserved it (12450)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)



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