simplysarcastics

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Offline (the 10/25/2016 at 7:19am)

simplysarcastics

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5325
  • Number of comments : 227
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About simplysarcastics : You look absolutely stunning today

simplysarcastics's page activity

Visits<b>MasterTron</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 11:01am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 1:19pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:03pm<b>TinyTinkerer</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:50pm<b>Sodaman20</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 8:51pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:11am<b>f36k</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 12:48am<b>illegal_love</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:48am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:19am<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:01pm<b>whycantisignup</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 9:14pm<b>marythecat333</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:25am<b>lellalove</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:31am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:24am<b>me_ni</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:07am<b>clarabulln</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 2:48pm<b>murtaza95</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 1:19pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:38am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:37pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:19am<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:35am<b>ghsthnt95</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:07am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:48pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:40am<b>gr4ce_gr4ce</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:54pm

simplysarcastics's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of simplysarcastics's badges

simplysarcastics's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried skydiving for the first time. The professional I was attached to had a boner the whole way down. FML

by emmamrose7 / 08/14/2014 at 11:36pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

by hopeless romantic / 08/14/2014 at 11:06am / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I took part in a raffle that was being organised in the small countryside village where I'm vacationing. I live in big city. I won a duck. A real, live duck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2014 at 12:38am / France / Animals

Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML

by Muwz / 08/13/2014 at 12:28am / Animals

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, a customer came into McDonalds and placed his order. He insisted on putting each coin on the counter rather than handing them straight to me, because he doesn't like touching "poor people". FML

by poorman / 08/11/2014 at 3:54pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

by Fennec / 08/11/2014 at 3:05pm / Love

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I found a piece of erotic fiction on my brother's computer. It involved two lesbian teenagers, who just so happened to have the same names and physical descriptions as my sister and me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 11:43am / India (Maharashtra) / Geek

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

by dealtit / 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

by rejected / 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

by FML / 07/24/2014 at 11:59am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

by and the truth comes out / 07/22/2014 at 4:44am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals