simplysarcastics

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Offline (the 10/25/2016 at 7:19am)

simplysarcastics

7Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5317
  • Number of comments : 227
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About simplysarcastics : You look absolutely stunning today

simplysarcastics's page activity

Visits<b>MasterTron</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 11:01am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 1:19pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:03pm<b>TinyTinkerer</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:50pm<b>Sodaman20</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 8:51pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:11am<b>f36k</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 12:48am<b>illegal_love</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:48am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:19am<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:01pm<b>whycantisignup</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 9:14pm<b>marythecat333</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:25am<b>lellalove</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:31am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:24am<b>me_ni</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:07am<b>clarabulln</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 2:48pm<b>murtaza95</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 1:19pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:38am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:37pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:19am<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:35am<b>ghsthnt95</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:07am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:48pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:40am<b>gr4ce_gr4ce</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:54pm

simplysarcastics's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of simplysarcastics's badges

simplysarcastics's favorite FMLs

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my dining job, my boss told me the food was "technically illegal to serve," air quotes and all. FML

by dining / 08/31/2014 at 9:56pm / United States (Iowa) / Work

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

by Happy Employee / 08/31/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I learned that while other people drunk call their exes, I drunk adopt cats. Seven cats, to be exact. FML

by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

by poorbastard / 08/30/2014 at 4:35am / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML

by nayahbear24 / 08/27/2014 at 6:52pm / United States (New Jersey) / Holidays

Today, my girlfriend got her period. It seemed more painful for her than usual, so I offered to go out and buy some painkillers and maybe some chocolate for her. She thought I was being sarcastic and slapped me so hard I saw stars. FML

by nhyari / 08/25/2014 at 2:58pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love

Today, I was sitting in a boring lecture. Out of boredom, I made a fish-faces with my mouth. Somehow, I made the most realistic fart noise I've ever heard in the process. The whole room stared at me. FML

by annababyyyy / 08/24/2014 at 9:09pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

by Anonymous / 08/24/2014 at 1:51am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when we heard a screech. My two cats were having it harder than us. FML

by Mia / 08/20/2014 at 2:07am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, it's the 16th day of my period. FML

by BagelTheOtaku / 08/20/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Georgia) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2014 at 8:23pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

by embarrassed / 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML

by Sara777boo / 08/16/2014 at 2:43pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

by gag reflex / 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy