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Offline (the 09/11/2016 at 3:00am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5063
  • Number of comments : 227
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About simplysarcastics : You look absolutely stunning today

simplysarcastics's page activity

Visits<b>MasterTron</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 11:01am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 1:19pm<b>rhiley</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:03pm<b>TinyTinkerer</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 7:50pm<b>Sodaman20</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 8:51pm<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 8:11am<b>f36k</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 12:48am<b>illegal_love</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:48am<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:19am<b>KitchKraft</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 11:01pm<b>whycantisignup</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 9:14pm<b>marythecat333</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 6:25am<b>lellalove</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:31am<b>Sethan01</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 12:24am<b>me_ni</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 2:07am<b>clarabulln</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 2:48pm<b>murtaza95</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 1:19pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:38am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 2:37pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 6:19am<b>missmandersxoxo</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:35am<b>ghsthnt95</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:07am<b>dylanger16</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 7:48pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 7:40am<b>gr4ce_gr4ce</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 7:54pm

simplysarcastics's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.


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simplysarcastics's favorite FMLs

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

by anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 9:47am / Austria (Wien) / Transportation

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2014 at 12:09pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Kids

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

by Anonymos_fmler / 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I replied to a party invite. I thought I was only replying to the hostess, who's a close friend, so added a P. S. about a recent sex toy purchase I'd made and how rubbish it had been. I only realised after pressing "Send" that I'd selected "Reply All". FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 3:31pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I thought I would be cute for my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML

by cuteloser / 10/04/2014 at 9:57am / Australia / Love

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

by Disappointed / 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm / Health

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

by skollasch / 09/25/2014 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had to inform my roommate that dry shampoo, deodorant, and perfume are not the same as a shower. It's been two weeks. FML

by catgiraffegirl / 09/23/2014 at 2:30pm / United States / Health

Today, my girlfriend told me that the necklace I gave her wasn't a "unique enough gift." I spent two weeks making that necklace, link by link. FML

by NoConfusion / 09/14/2014 at 8:53am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2014 at 2:56am / Canada (Alberta) / Animals

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2014 at 2:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, my roommate asked for my opinion of her new painting. The same painting I hand-painted for over ten hours. She apparently thought it was a gift. She won't give it back. FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2014 at 12:46am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

by anonymous / 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

by the3goatlady / 09/01/2014 at 12:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.