simaS

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simaS

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 18 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1798
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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simaS's page activity

Visits<b>pks2014</b> - the 05/22/2016 at 11:07pm<b>rodrigun449</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 6:35pm<b>sythe511</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 6:36pm<b>najraa</b> - the 11/27/2015 at 10:15pm<b>Celeden</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:26am<b>jezuzfreak96</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 12:16am<b>LiveDreamsG</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 2:08pm<b>a7xheart</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 5:42pm<b>skychu</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 2:37am<b>SalviBarbie</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:04am<b>k_gils</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 3:12pm<b>gabrielr357</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 7:30pm<b>DJ_Pelco</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 12:23am<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 9:04am<b>149967</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 7:00pm<b>chamay</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 10:51pm<b>piedpiper303</b> - the 08/12/2013 at 10:54pm<b>xx5pid3rmanxx</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 11:05pm

Fucked!<b>pks2014</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 5:07am

simaS's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

simaS's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 1:24am / France / Intimacy

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

by meteorbabe0101 / 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm / United States (Michigan) / Health

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

by SLA / 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy